One Way Ticket | a love story

Chapter One

I looked around my bedroom, searching for anything I might've forgotten on the way out. The curtains in my now dark room were drawn across the windows, allowing only a few rays of light to enter the room. I liked it that way, the room looked a little smaller than it was. Under the window was a large white desk. My books, pens, and notepads were all lined up against the wall. The desk was adjustable in height so that it reached up to the window. Normally in its center was a silver laptop, which was now in my backpack. Against it, close together, was a tall chair with special reclining cushions, the only one that seemed to fit my height and large torso. Above the table was a bulletin board with a few papers pierced by colorful pins. On the other side of the window hung a large painting. It was radiant and filled the room with positive energy. It showed a bright peacock looking directly at me, but with a gentle, almost pleading look. Maybe he was trying to tell me to release him. Or maybe I was thinking too much about the painting.

To distract myself, I put my mobile phone in my left jacket pocket and then made my way to the front door while I got myself a protein shake. Something had to keep me full until lunch. When you wake up at 11 am on a Saturday, you don't truly feel like doing anything other than lying in bed staring at your phone, but I wasn't going to waste that much time on my phone. And to spend it properly, the first thing that came to mind was to study in the library until I was so hungry that I'd die if I didn't go and eat. Hunger, errands and work were the only things that kept me from staying longer in the library. Who knows if I'd ever leave.

After glancing at my outfit today, my black shirt and light jacket paired with black trousers and trainers, I grabbed my backpack off the floor and forced my body to walk through the door. I locked the flat door with two turns of the key, my headphones already in my ears and about to connect them to my phone. The flat keys found their usual place in my pocket and I scrolled through my Spotify songs, looking for the one that felt right today. After a few minutes of scrolling and standing in front of the door, I'd found it. It played loudly in my ears, but the lyrics and voice were soft and calm, like a spring breeze, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Even now I miss spring and the colors it brings. I entered the lift, pressed number zero, and leaned against the side of the lift, autonomously closing my eyes and unconsciously melting into the lines.

Honeybee
I can't imagine how my life would be
If all your gravity did not hit me
Oh, don't you see?
Darling, my honeybee...

The ping of the lift speaker brought me back to reality. The red shining button for floor zero turned off, signaling the lift was on the floor I needed to get out on. My head seemed so far from this world as if I was another species and not a human. To pull myself together I shook my head and exit the elevator quickly to avoid being closed inside. As soon as I walked outside the building, the fresh autumn wind hit my face and sent shivers through my body. Even though it wasn't so cold, I enjoyed it very much. It felt like a fresh summer cocktail on the beach. I looked around the street and admired everything around me. Those were mostly tall, modern-built structures. Sometimes, especially at night, they looked scary but terrifyingly beautiful at the same time. A picture popped up in my mind: me standing at the window, looking at London's lights dancing under only the light of the Moon.

The Regent's University of London and The British Library, two very popular British and worldwide buildings were not too far from my flat. It excited me since I moved to London. The unexplored shelves were full of new and old books, and the smell would drive any book lover insane. That's why I never leave the library. Well, not never, since I have to pay for my food and a third of my scholarship. That was the deal me and my parents made.

I walked down the street, looking around the same street I've been walking down since I moved here. But I walked alone, and it felt like I needed someone to walk with me. Once I moved here, my main and only real goal was to make a living and pursue my career. I never planned to fall in love. Love still hasn't caught me in a chokehold but it's never too late, right? Maybe that is just me comforting myself. I was debating if I should go on foot or by bus. To my surprise, I decided upon going on foot since I had to save money. The walk was around 15 minutes long so it didn't take long for me to get there. Many people walked past me and I looked at the majority of them, but my brain was too zoned-out that I wasn't focused on anything but getting to the library as soon as I possibly could. My anxiety was driving me nuts in the middle of the street and the walk seemed so much longer than it was supposed to be. The hanging piece of my backpack strap helped as a coping mechanism so I fiddled with it between my fingers. And soon enough, I was more interested in the text of the song that was playing in my ears and making my arm hairs rise.

God only knows where our fears go
Hearts I've broke, now my tears flow
You'll see that I'm sorry
'Cause you were good to me
You were good to me

I was now 5 minutes away from the library, and the wind had gotten a bit stronger along with the number of cars driving down the street. For the last few days, I've been feeling alone, like I was the only human in the world. As if the world had stopped and I was the only thing moving. Somehow, my body felt sore all the time and all I wished for was to lay down and sleep forever. Probably never wake up again. The soft spring breeze was something I really enjoyed and looked up to on cold days. Unfortunately, spring was very far away, so I had to LIVE up to it.

With these thoughts, I finally arrived at the library, the large orange building which I couldn't wait to explore and wrap myself in its warm internal riches. I entered through the main door and into the library's warm atmosphere. The smell immediately attacked my nostrils: the light fragrance of vanilla in the distance, dominated by the smell of books, the smell of a million untouched pages with another billion characters and storylines. This was just another ordinary day at the library for me, so I already knew where things mostly took place. I went into the more quiet and less crowded sections, finding a nice table in the corner where I wouldn't be surrounded by so many people. Being alone in silence felt much more comforting rather than being involved in people's stories that will never matter to me.

I settled down at the table, carefully taking out my things - my laptop, a planner, a notebook, book and pencil case. My bottle and headphones followed before I put the bag down on the floor by my legs. After opening and turning the laptop on, notetaking seemed the most appropriate to do today. At least that's what my week plan said. Since the library closes at 5 pm, I have another 3 hours to finish my work, then I would have to leave. Work is starting at 7 pm until 10 pm so that's pretty delightful. I watched as the laptop screen awakened and the system load, then before I type in my password, I flip through the pages of my book and notebook to find the next clean one. Next, I connected my headphones to the laptop and played a playlist I usually listen to. I scooted closer to the table and moved around the chair to attempt to get comfortable, but I just couldn't settle well. The chair is a bit too short for me, as usual. Maybe I should begin bringing my pillows here with me.

I grabbed my pencil and started writing notes from the upcoming exam lessons. A full hour passed and I took a short pause. My left wrist is aching and begging me to stop noting. I am gonna just take a break, but that doesn't mean I'll stop anytime soon. I stretch my neck around, my eyes latched tightly. My hand grabbed the device named a mobile phone, which I honestly don't use that often, I just don't see the point of it other than it being a good source of music. But I did have all the social media and all my friends on it. A few messages appeared on the screen.

new message from Mom: Hey Noah, how are you? Are you visiting this weekend?

new message from Arthur: Noahhh!! Go out with us tonight, please? Pretty please?

missed call from Arthur...

I answered my mom first: "Hey Mom, I'm okay, just studying a lot for an exam, as usual. I probably won't have time to visit, but I'll come by after the exam."

Then Arthur: "I can't, I have work from 7 until 10."

Arthur was one of the males in my friend group. He was a short guy, but he had built his body well since he was a plump boy in his teenage years that was bullied and decided to change. We have been friends since we were 13, we played football together and started hanging out. He has lots of friends, but he's mostly with us. By "us" I mean John, Liam and myself. John and Liam are my friends since childhood, our parents are good friends and moving to London meant being closer to them, closer to my freedom and my comfort people, my salvation and free therapy. They made me happy and carefree at times. I loved spending time with them both when we were kids and now that we are all grown up.

After answering both my mother and Arthur, I closed the phone and placed it quietly on the table, then glanced around the library. My gaze was mostly on the books that stood up proudly on the shelves, carrying more than their body weights. I scanned lots of them only from the chair I was sitting at, secretly wondering what would happen if I had dedicated my whole life to just reading and nothing else. If my only occupation was reading books. Of course, some sites pay you to read nowadays and I was always in for trying something like that out besides my normal job. However, my barely split-up time has been stopping me since I started college.

After drifting back to reality, I stared at some of the people sitting at the tables around me. Some were typing on their laptops, but a specific person caught my eye.