One Way Ticket | a love story

Chapter Six

My body froze as I listened to his words...

A big lump formed in my throat. It all makes sense now. We kissed and I was too drunk to remember anything. 

'Oh god, she made that hickey... Luckily I covered it today. I need to talk to Layla urgently.' I thought that to myself. 

My head hung down as I listened to Arthur, trying my best to remember but I just couldn't. The memories were lost, somewhere far away, in the back of my brain. 

'Imagine if my mysterious girl was there and caught us? Oh god, no, that is impossible. She wasn't there. There's no way.' I hoped it was that way with my whole body and soul.

I looked up and around the study room, noticing Layla again, but she was focused on her paper. Then I saw my mysterious girl looking at me but she quickly lowered her gaze, her hair moving from side to side. While thinking about how she saw me waving and looking at the girl sitting a few feet away from her, I couldn't stay focused on my book no matter how long I stared at the screen.

Soon I looked at her again. She had her hand under her head and now I had a clear view of her face. Her pale freckled face and her dark red lips. She had double-lidded eyes as most Asians do. She was probably Asian or mixed. Not how I imagined her. I quickly started deleting the paragraph I had written that described her and started writing a new one, adding the freckles, her pale white skin, tiny nose but full dark lips. She had some lipgloss on which made them even more beautiful, and it suited her so well. Her eyelashes were coated with some mascara and the eyelids carried a small amount of light eyeshadow. It felt disappointing that I didn't see the color of her eyes, and I wanted to look up and see them, but it would be really weird if she caught me staring, and if Layla noticed that. That's why I didn't do so.

The two of my companions were silent for a while, each of them doing their thing and studying what they were doing before they noticed everything that has happened in the last few minutes. I continued writing the story, making the guy fall in love with her. It all seems like an autobiography because I have fallen in love in just three days and now I cannot stop thinking about her, about meeting her and getting to know every detail about her. It all melted me and I wished for it even more. I always had some sort of quick relationship with women where we didn't have time or didn't choose to fall in love with each other. We only were there for each other like therapists, not like partners. So it didn't make much sense to either of us.

I felt maybe with her it would be different. She seemed like a girl from a romance book: a quiet library girl that falls in love with the popular guy of the school, he protects her or becomes toxic and breaks up with her, saying it was for a dare. But I didn't believe she was so pathetic to fall for those stupid guys. I believed that she wanted someone similar to her with whom she could talk about things without feeling insecure or left out.

Soon, I finished the entrance part of the story which was supposed to be up to five pages. I had to make the meeting and love happen quickly to write down my fantasies about my mysterious girl and myself. My heart wanted to go through the moments with the characters if I couldn't experience them in real life. It might be sad to say that but it was my only choice so I could feel at least a bit of joy until I manage to gather the courage to go over to her and ask her for her name. She was too beautiful for someone like me. A guy who spends his days in the library studying, writing and not using social media like everyone else. 

My friends always praised me and told me I looked good but I never agreed. I'm not ugly but not especially handsome. To myself I look okay, an average 5, at times a 6 or 7 which is a pretty high rating since the society doesn't see me as a handsome guy.

And that is where my overthinking ended when we found Layla sitting at our desk and staring at me. 

- Hey my love. - her sharp high voice pierced my eardrums. Oh, how I wished I wasn't there today. I should've stayed home and prepared for my exams instead.

-Hey Layla... - I sounded much less uncomfortable than I was. - You need something? - I added to seem disturbed but she wasn't getting the hints.

-Could you please step out for a little? We need to talk. - She said semi quietly, but it still made me a lot uncomfortable.

I stood up and grabbed her arm, pulling her outside into the hallway and let go. She turned around, her eyes on mine. - Did you use a contraceptive yesterday? - The question made my blood run cold.

-I don't remember. I don't recall anything that happened yesterday Layla. - I said honestly and now she was puzzled in front of me.

Next, I felt a burning feeling on my cheek from her hand but I didn't move from my spot. - You asshole! My period is late!! - I plugged her mouth mid-sentence.

-Layla, it happened yesterday, you can't know it today. Time needs to pass. Besides, even if you're pregnant, you should question the other guys you've had sex with before me. I'm sterile, so there's no way I could be the father. - And I saw it on her face, she tried to trick me into being with her.

I left the hallway into the study room, leaving her there alone. Liam and Arthur looked at me but I packed my stuff in silence and left the library. I was sick of everyone there and just felt like it was time to be alone for a little. My alone time was missing me and I missed it more than anything today. The walk home was much longer than usual, my phone was ringing constantly which made me take it out and turn it off completely. As soon as I reached my apartment, I locked the door and put the curtains over the windows, turned the TV on and laid out on the couch, staring at the scenes that were playing on the screen, not trying or bothering to understand.

I was too zoned out, thinking about what Layla said. It was so stupid as if she wasn't educated about her body, pregnancy and periods enough to even talk about it. Her words made me question if she was actually a girl. I tried not to think about the fact that my girl could've seen the scene that happened, think I have a girlfriend and that our clash between the two bookshelves was just an accident. 

True, I didn't know she was there, but it felt like destiny and I refuse to not believe it. Somehow everything between us felt like it wasn't an accident... seeing her looking at me between the shelves of fantasy books and grabbing one from the top shelf makes me want to grab the book, leave it in front of her with my number and just leave. But that would take a lot of confidence that I don't have, therefore I will avoid that option at all costs.

My heart hopes she's my soulmate and that once I'll be able to hold her as I did in my mirror, look at her the way my characters were looking at each other and hug her the way nobody ever did. I wanted to touch her soft skin, cup her face with my hands and kiss her lips like no man ever would or did. I want to be her boyfriend, husband, the father of her children, I was down bad for this girl. With those thoughts I drifted off to sleep, hugging the big couch pillow and nuzzling its side. 

About a few minutes later, I woke up and remembered the lecture I had to attend. 

I wasn't late still, it was 6 pm. But while rushing I forgot my bag so I'm stuck in class just recording the lesson. On my way to the study room, I knocked over a girl and she fell down on the floor. I honestly did not notice it until earlier when I sat down. And it made me feel so bad and want to apologize but didn't know who she was or what she looked like. 

As the lecture ended, with quick steps I exited the classroom to get home and sleep as soon as possible. A headache caught me in the middle of it and I dozed off a few times. Luckily my phone recorded all of it so I won't miss anything for the exams. Once in the apartment, my showered and clean body found its place in the sheets where I fell asleep once again.