Red

Part 10

Bucky

This entire day has felt like a week, and by the time I get back to the office, Mallery keeps her distance. I'd stormed out two hours ago with tunnel vision, with only the thought of getting to my therapist's office to work through the emotions I was feeling.

Anger, confusion, and denial flooded through me, and I couldn't even see straight. I was grateful that Dr. Raynor was available; it was her lunch after all, and she agreed to see me. Now that I'm back and I know I need to speak to Mallery, I don't know how. I don't know that she's ever heard the entire story of my accident, but I'm also not sure this is why I want her to know.

It was hard enough reliving it with my shrink; it'll be harder to tell Mallery; she was the one person I have always wanted by my side, and regardless of the fact that she was there in the hospital with me, she hasn't been there for me during my recovery. She had her own life and her own troubles, but she's all I've ever wanted.

Sitting behind my desk, I can just see her sitting at hers. She's diligently typing away on the keyboard, and I'm sure she's been fielding calls for me since I've been gone. I get an incoming message on my own computer from Mallery asking when I want to leave to go look at my apartment.

Leaning back in my chair, I sigh. "Mallery, can you come in here for a moment?" I call out, knowing full well she can hear me. I watch as her shoulders slump slightly and worry that I've caused her any fear or grief today. I don't ever want to do that to her.

"You wanted to see me?" She's all business with a notepad in one hand and pen in the other, hovering in the doorway.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier. I have a lot of unresolved issues from my time in the Army and my accident; something triggered me, and all I knew to do was take off to see my therapist." I sigh, trying not to sound like a pitiful fucker. "I should have tried to communicate with you, but I didn't want you to see me like that. I can be volatile and unpredictable, and you don't—"

"You don't get to decide what I can and can't deal with, Bucky." Mallery crosses the threshold into my office, standing before my desk. "Sure, I've been through a lot, and I've seen some ugliness from men, but you've never been anything but kind to me. So, when I saw that something was wrong ... Look, you don't have to spill your guts to me, but don't keep me in the dark, okay?"

Feeling like I've been scolded by one of the nuns from elementary school, I nod. "I'm sorry."

"Good." She sits on the sofa and stares at me. "Now, when did you want to leave to check on your place?"

Cringing, I swivel in my chair. "Can you call the contractor and reschedule for tomorrow or later this week? I'd really like to leave here as soon as possible, pick up some greasy Chinese, and veg out in front of the TV."

Mallery smiles for the first time since coming in here, and I can feel it eat away at the weight on my back. "Now, all of that I can arrange." Glancing down at her watch, I see her make a note on her pad. "If you can answer the dozen or so emails that came in while you were gone, I can get you out of here in an hour, ninety minutes, tops."

"Get us both out of here, and you've got a deal." I extend my hand over the desk, and she jumps up to shake it.

"Incoming in thirty seconds." She steps out of my office before calling out. "I really like egg rolls!"

Nearly two hours later, the two of us are heading to the Rogers' house, loaded down with a box full of takeout, and I'm still trying to figure out how to tell Mallery that I know John Walker. As soon as we're inside, she rushes out to the pool house to change, but I take a more cautious approach to moving around the house.

Something felt off as soon as I stepped inside, but I can't put my finger on it. Moving upstairs, I check all the windows, and when I find them still shut and locked, I move to Nat's office. I've been using her office while the little family is gone, but even I don't let my guard down enough to not use some safeguards.

I check everything I've set up in the house to find them intact, so I let it go and chalk it up to the events of the day, reminding myself to calm down. Once I'm changed and dishing out food, I realize that Mallery hasn't come back into the main house yet. Opening the sliding door to the backyard, I walk out, only to find her in a crumpled heap in front of the guesthouse, weeping.

"Honey, what's wrong? What happened?" Rushing to her side, I scoop her up, only to have her cling to me desperately. Pulling her away slightly to look at her face, I grasp her cheeks. "Red, you have to tell me what's wrong."

She can't speak, her sobs making it impossible for her to form words. Instead, she points to the little porch of the guesthouse, and that's when I see it. On the second step is a vase of white tulips. I release Mallery and walk a few feet to the vase to find no note or any identifiable markings.

"They're from John." She gulps. "He would always bring me white tulips after a huge fight."

"They can't be from him, Mal. The gates are locked; he can't get in here." I turn around to look at her. She's still crying, but the abject terror that once crossed her face is now replaced by a defiant knowing.

"Bucky, I know they're from him." She takes a deep breath and sighs. "It's not the first time I've gotten something here."