Bucket Hat

Used

~TWO MONTHS LATER~

I say goodbye to my last set of parents with a warm smile on my face. Conferences are finally over. I plop down on my chair to start my lesson plans for next month. It's never too early to get your lesson plans done. As I'm typing away, my phone rings. I pick it up to see it's my sister calling. I start the call, putting it on speaker to continue working. "Hey Kay, what's up?" She sits for a moment and then starts. "Oh, nothing. Just checking in to see how my boring sister is doing." I chuckle. "Same old same old sis, just sitting here doing lessons plans. I just finished my last parent/teacher conference a little bit ago." I hear her groan. "BOOOORING! God you are so fucking lame El. Get out and live a little! Let's go get drunk! I don't know!" I sigh, having had this exact conversation with her about 300 times before. "I am living. I'm earning a living to pay for my house and car. And I don't feel like getting drunk. Some people have jobs they have to go to every day." She scoffs on the other line. "Ella....how long are you going to hole yourself up with work? It's been two months already." I fake a laugh but I feel a tightening in my chest. "What are you talking about? I have always holed myself up with work. This has nothing to do with Chicago." "See!" She yells. "You won't even say his name. You act like it never happened." I sigh and lean back in my chair. "What do you want me to say Kayla? I can say his name just fine. Jungkook. There, said it. And I pretty much have to act like it never happened so I can't be sued, remember? I won't forget that trip, I just don't dwell on it." Again with her annoying ass groan into the phone. God I don't want to have this conversation again. "Why not?! You hooked up with a super famous, super hot, super rich idol. No, not just hooked up with...I'm the one who hooked up....you made a connection. And memories." I sigh and rub my temples. I can't do this again. I don't want to think about it. I rub my hands over my face. "Kayla, I'm not doing this again with you. I don't want to take a trip down memory lane to rehash something that kind of hurt me a little. Ok? Please stop bringing it up. I'm fine. I'm not hiding away and being depressed. I'm boring and always have been. That's it. End of story." I hear her scoff on the other line. "Fine! I won't bring him up to you anymore.....After today that is because have you looked at his Instagram lately?" I groan in frustration. "Kay!" "God! Ok. I'll stop harping. But just think about taking a look at his Insta.....you might find the past couple of months posts interesting. Well, past month because he didn't post for a month after they went back to Korea. But that's all I'm gonna say. Pretty interesting stuff-" I cut her off. "Bye Kayla!" I hang up before she can say anything else. I sigh again and lean back in my chair. My mind starts racing through the past two months since Jungkook went back to Korea and left my life as fast as he entered.

I never heard from him after he left. Nothing. Not a call or a text or a selfie, nothing. I don't know why it bothered me as much as it did because I barely knew him. Sure, I know him as the Jungkook he puts on the screen for ARMY, but the guy I met in Chicago...in private, was different from the man in the screen. Or so I thought. After a couple of weeks I came to the absolute realization that I had been essentially used. I was a hook up, and everything he said to me was a lie to get in my pants. It bothered me for a bit, because hooking up with strangers was NOT something I do, but I shook it off as a secret I'd always keep deep in my heart. I made wonderful memories with him, even if they were fake, and I'd always have those. He said exactly what he needed to say to ultimately get me into bed. My attitude toward BTS, and kpop in general, has drastically changed though. I have not looked at a single post from the group, or any group for that matter. I know from Kayla that BTS will be releasing a new album soon. But I don't get on YouTube or Weverse anymore. I even boxed up all my merch. It's easier that way. Not looking at his face takes away the bitter taste he left when he walked away after feeding me lies to get me to sleep with him. It worked though. He got me, hook line and sinker. What an idiot I was. I'll never let that happen again. No dating means no drama or hurting. Simple.