[3] Code: REBIRTH || KTH

Ch14: "It's Ok To Be Scared"

I can't help but smile when I open my eyes; I'm feeling much better than the day before, and the sun shining from the window is warm. The snow is starting to melt, and the soft chirp of the birds indicates that spring is on the doors.

Definitely nothing can disturb this peaceful morningㅡ

Crash

I turn my head to the door as I hear successive thuds, like someone constantly shutting a door, except that it's not a door. A drawer, maybe? Another crash. Loud footsteps. Taehyung bursts in with a scowl on his face.

"Where is it?" He asks, his voice an octave deeper.

Confusion washes over me. "Where's what?"

"Don't act stupid! The letter!" He snaps, his eyes shooting daggers at me.

I slowly sit up on bed. "I literally have no idea what you're talking abㅡ"

"It was in my drawer," He grunts through gritted teeth, "You were staring at it the other day and now it's gone!"

I scoff in disbelief as I cross my arms. "So you just assume I took it? What do you think I am? A thief?"

"I don't care what you are, I justㅡ"

"Get out."

He falls silent at my statement, eyes narrowing into a glare, his ears up in anger.

"You heard me," I add.

He storms off, shutting the door loudly behind him and I fall back to the bed with a huff. Yesterday he was all lovey dovey, even claiming he would kiss me if it weren't for me being sick, but today he's a complete asshole. What the hell is up with him?

I get up and start getting ready for work. The thuds and crashes have stopped by the time I'm out of the shower and as I pass by Taehyung's room, I sneak a peek inside to see that it's a total mess with clothes all over the floor, the drawers pulled out and papers spilling out of them.

Shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly, I head to my bedroom to get dressed. When I'm done, I make my way to the front door, passing by the living room. I stop in my tracks when I find Taehyung sitting on the couch with a paper in his hands. His ears turn towards me first before he turns to face me, but I immediately look away and ignore him as I walk to the door with my keys in hand.

I unlock the door and put my hand on the doorknob when I feel a warm hand on top of mine. I look up at Taehyung who is looking everywhere but at my eyes, probably out of guilt.

"Let go," I say, looking straight at him, "I'm going to be late for work."

"You didn't take it," He says softly, his eyes on the ground, one hand still on mine and the other holding the letter, "It was still in my bedroom. I don't know why I said that to you. I know you would never do something like this."

I push his hand away. "If you really did think so, you wouldn't've accused me of stealing it. I don't know what that letter is, and I don't care. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

And with that, I leave for work. My mind is occupied with the argument all day long and I can't seem to think about anything else. Was I too harsh? Why does he sometimes act like he doesn't know me? Does he really not know me? After all this time? What's the deal with that letter anyway? Why does he care about it so much? Who is it from?

By the time I'm home, my head is pulsating with pain as I've exhausted my brain with all sorts of questions, and I want nothing more but to lie in bed. Taehyung returns home not long after, and he doesn't utter a single word until the sun sets and I'm in bed, staring at the ceiling aimlessly. He knocks on my bedroom door and I let out a sigh. He opens the door and stands in place, soft eyes set on me. His ears lay flat on his head, his tail limp in defeat.

"Why are you here?" I ask.

He hesitates, "You're cold."

"I'm not."

He thinks for a second before walking in and sitting on my bed.

"It's just that.. " He trails off, staring at space as he figures out the right words to say, "That letter is really important to me. I didn't even read it yet, so that's why I was really upset when I couldn't find it. I know this doesn't justify me accusing you of taking it. I didn't even realise what I was saying until you put it that way. Stealing. I know you would never do that. I just remembered that day when you were looking at it and you looked curious but you never asked about it. I don't know what I was thinking."

He finally looks at me. "I'm sorry."

"I don't like it when you act like you don't know me," I admit, "And then you say you like me. It makes me confused. How do you really feel towards me, Tae? What do you want?"

"I want you," He says, lying beside me and wrapping his arms around me.

I bury my face in his chest. "I never asked you about the letter because I didn't want to invade your privacy. I wanted you to tell me because you want to, not because I asked you."

"It's from Jin," He pauses, "He wrote it before... before his death. The police gave me the letter. They said it was in his cell when they found him. They inspected it, of course, but declared it as a suicide note, so they thought it would be okay to give it to me."

"Why didn't you read it?"

"I don't know," He chuckles, "I feel like a coward. I'm scared. I don't know what from, but every time I try to open that letter, I just can't."

"It's ok to be scared." I wrap my arms around his waist.

He buries his nose in my hair, and I close my eyes as he plants a kiss on the top of my head.

"You're right, I am cold." I smile to myself. "But not anymore."

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A/N: p.s.: the letter is first mentioned in chapter 2