My Italian Nightmare

Chapter 3: Backstage

I took a couple steps back and tried to stay firmly on my feet. I still smiled and now his confused expression changed into a careful smile as well.

"Hi...", Matteo Rossi said carefully and leaned with his back on the door.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Ari."
"Hi Ari, I'm Matteo."

I chuckled. "I know."
Matteo was about 187cm, his dirty-blond hair almost reached his shoulders. His eyes had a really interesting green colour and he had a long, pointy nose. He was not wearing his stage gear anymore but a causal flared jeans and a band t-shirt. I got a lot more relaxed now that Matteo stood in front of me. Matteo just gave me really good vibes. Maybe it was the fact that we were born in the same year or that he didn't seem as intimating as the others, or that he wasn't as obscenely beautiful. He just seemed nice and fun and genuine.
Matteo raised his eyebrows and I realised that I have not been saying a word for a least a minute.
"Sooo...", he began and shoved his hands into his pockets, "what are you doing here?" I noticed that his Italian accent was pretty strong. I don't think I've heard him talk a lot English, of course a couple times in interviews.
I shrugged and smiled and pulled my pack of cigarettes out.
"Long story." I held out my pack and looked at Matteo. "You want one?" Matteo looked at me, as if he still wasn't sure what the hell I was even doing here. Then he slowly nodded. "Yes, thank you." He pulled one out of my pack and I gave him my lighter.
"Have you been at the concert?" He exhaled smoke and eyed me carefully.
"Yes. It was really fun. You guys do a great show."
I slurred my words a bit and cursed myself for having drunk so much alcohol before. So much for a good first impression.
"Thanks." Matteo smiled. He looked at me a little closer and asked: "Are you okay? You seem a bit..."
He frowned and I shook my head. "I'm, I'm all great, really." As to proof my lie I made a couple steps towards the door, but stumbled again and supported myself with one hand against the wall. I sighed.
"Actually I...", Fuck, now I was actually starting to feel a little sick.
Matteo stared at me helplessly and I looked back at him, his face becoming quite blurred. Verdammte Scheiße.
"Uhhh", Matteo seemed a bit panicky. "Ugh cazzo", he mumbled and opened the door to the backstage. He touched my shoulder and said "Why don't you sit down backstage for a moment, I will bring you some water."
I nodded thankfully and smiled dopily. Before I realised what was actually happening Matteo carefully pushed me into the backstage area.

It was a rather small area, some chairs and two couches were standing in the middle and Matteo lead me to one of the couches. I sat down and sighed.
Then my mouth fell open as I saw Valentina de Santis sitting opposite me on the couch, looking at me curiously. Valentina was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Her face was soft but pointy at the same time, her radiant blue eyes complimented her blond hair that was cut into bangs and reached over her shoulders. Most prominent were her straight nose with a round tip and her pouty lips, that were now slightly twitching.
Matteo gave me a bottle of water and whispered to Valentina:
"Si chiama Ari. Penso sia molto ubriaco."
Valentina raised her eyebrows and her eyes switched between Matteo and me. "È da dove è uscita...o uscito?" Matteo shrugged and looked at me. I had sunk into the couch and was listening to the conversation casually, not understanding a word.
While my eyes wandered around the room I had only one thought in my head. Where was he?
"Non lo so, era lì."
Valentina sighed. She leaned forward and stretched out her hand.
"Hi Ari", she said kindly. "I'm Val. What were you doing outside?"
I shook her hand. "Hi." I blinked. "You're so pretty", I said and turned red immediately.
Valentina smiled. "Thank you. You as well, by the way."
I smiled. "Thanks...Uh, I was just smoking a cigarette and waiting for some friends...they didn't came back, I don't know why. We wanted to ask you for photos. I'm... sorry I came here."
I looked down into my lap.
"No, that's alright. It's pretty late, why didn't you come with the others?"
I raised my eyebrows. "What others?"
"The other fans."
"Oh right. Uhh the concert was pretty nerve wrecking so we decided to for one drink...or two." I ran my hand through my hair guiltily.
"I see." Valentina leaned back and looked at me half pitying, half amused.
"How old are you?"
"I'm twenty.", I said and smiled slightly.
"Me too!", said Matteo from the other end of the couch, who had been quiet for a while.
"I know", I said and turned my head to face him. "2001 gang."
Matteo grinned at me.
"Don't you want to text your friends that you're safe?", Valentina said and I nodded.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and noticed that my battery had run out.
"Alter", I mumbled annoyed and rolled my eyes. Why was this evening heading towards a badly written fan fiction cliché?
"Does anyone have an iPhone charger?" I asked and looked up.

In this Moment, another man came through the door and three heads turned to look at him. Edoardo Bianchi, his beautiful long hair in a bun, stood in the doorway and looked even more confused than Valentina had a couple minutes ago. Edoardo was tall, not as tall as Matteo but also not as lanky. He carried himself in an elegant way and his dark brown eyes scurried over the room in an alert manner. He wore a black tank top that showed off his defined arm muscles and I stared at his bicep for a second too long.
"Quello li è Ari, si sentiva male quindi l'ho portato nel backstage. Ha vent'anni", Matteo explained.
I only understood the part, where Matteo was saying that I was twenty and asked myself why he told Edoardo that. Maybe he wanted to reassure him that I was not a teenager.
Edoardo closed the door and sat down next to Valentina.
"È un fan?", Edoardo asked and eyed me from head to toe. I blushed. Edoardo was intimidating and beautiful and mysterious and I could not read his face at all.
"Sì, ha detto che stava al concerto."
"Sembra una bellissima ragazza."
Valentina laughed at this and looked at me.
"Ari, can I ask what pronouns you use?"
"He and they. Why?" I kneaded my hands nervously.
"Oh Edoardo just said you look beautiful in a feminine way. But you're not a girl?"
Edoardo looked at her with raised eyebrows but didn't comment anything.
"Right.", I said. "I'm trans."
My gender expression tended to often confuse people. Sometimes I was still confused myself, but I knew that was just who I was. A little bit on either side, or on neither, whichever way you wanted to look at it. This seemed intriguing to people, or off-putting, depending on the person. Although I felt like with Valentina I didn't have to hide my nonbinary identity.
"I see", she said and looked at me for a couple seconds more. Edoardo eyed me up and down once again, slightly frowning like he was looking at a painting he didn't quite understand.
"Well anyways", Val stood up and tossed her long blond hair back. "Who wants a beer?"
Matteo looked at Val, then at me. Then he grinned and shrugged.

With a beer in my hand and not feeling scared or sick anymore I relaxed my position and the warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach made a comeback. Good, I thought, sobering up scared me more than being too pissed to walk. I would think about what that said about my attitude about intoxicants later.
I had started discussing Spotify playlists with Matteo who had some very strong feelings about 70s punk rock and shared some of his insights as a musician. I had crossed my legs and pushed my almost shoulder long hair back so I could look at his phone screen.
Val listened interestingly what we discussed about our music taste and how we both were influenced by our parents, while Edoardo had seemed to have dozen off. He had removed the hair band and his long hair was falling over his face. It was hard not to stare at him.
Matteo had just told me about how his dad would imitate 70s musicians, which made me giggle, when the door opened once again, and Angelo Angelico stood in the doorway.