My Italian Nightmare

Chapter 11: The Party Part 2

"What do you mean, you slept with him", Beth repeated and stared at me, her face finally showing an expression of realization.
"Well, I mean exactly what I said." I sighed and emptied my drink.
"You...but you...so you...", Beth stammered and looked at me seriously.
"You had your first time, sex? And you did it with him?" I nodded and then shook my head because I was so fucking stupid.
"Okay", Beth said, trying to give her voice a calming tone and took a sip from her drink. "Okay."
"Nothing's okay!", I exclaimed and stood up again, looked at Berlin's skyline and the pitch black sky and kicked the balcony with my foot.
"Ari, what's wrong? Didn't you always talk about how crazy you were about this guy? Aren't you happy that you got to have sex with him? I mean, it's crazy but also, wasn't this your biggest wish?" I threw my arms through the air and spoke into the night, the air was cool on my face and ran down my throat like ice-cold water.
"Yes...but..." I turned back to Beth, who had stood up as well and tried to clear my mind, which was becoming quite fogged because of the alcohol.
"It didn't meant anything to him." Beth looked at me, pitifully.
"Ari..."
"I know what you want to say, 'What did you expect, he didn't even know you, you should be grateful that he even picked you, did you expect him to fall in love with you', blah blah–"
Beth shut me up with her hand raised and had this stern expression again, almost looking angry.
"First of all, yes, you should probably not have put your mind into it so much, because now, look at where you at. You are hurt, because you are in love with him and yeah, he just met you that night and wanted to have a good time. Okay. But he should be grateful, for you. You are the sweetest, kindest, most special person Ari, and if that night didn't mean anything to him, or if he doesn't remember you until the rest of his fucking days, he is a fool. You know how great you are and you should not talk that way, just because he is a celebrity. You are worth more than that and in the end, he is just a fucking twenty-two year old with a lot of money, talent and ego. And you know what, minus the first two things, you would probably despise him if you met him at a party like this one."
"He is still very good looking", I said quietly and abashed and smiled a little.
"Oh Ari", Beth said and pulled me into one of her soft and warm hugs. "You're really a lost cause."
In this moment, Freyja stumbled on the balcony and yelled "ARIAN Fucking Fährmann, where the fuck have you been all the time? Do you realise how many good songs you've missed?" I smiled and shrugged at Beth, who grinned as she saw Freyja.
"Some day they will wash your mouth out with soap", Beth commented and Freyja jumped and hugged her, grinning back.
"Well, can't help it, if this particular gentleman here hides away on the balcony instead of swinging his ass on the dance floor, where it belongs."
"I'm co-oming", I said and exchanged a last look with Beth, who nodded understandingly. Freyja dragged me back inside and I took a deep breath. Alright, time to wipe this whole thing out of my mind for a couple hours. Time to be carefree and have fun, like I used to. I put off my jacket and followed my friends into the 'living-room'. I saw Freyja waving and saw that it was Nick, who has spotted us and now waved us over. Nick said something to her I couldn't understand but Freyja grinned widely and turned back to me.
"Ari, Nick has brought something special with him tonight", she shot a meaningful look to me and I started to grin as well.
"You mean...it's gonna snow tonight or what?"
"Oh yeah baby", Freyja said and already dragged me in the direction of the bathroom. I looked over my shoulder for Beth and nodded to her, signifying that she should come along.
"Jesus that's gonna be cozy", Beth mumbled as we all squeezed into the bathroom. Nick took out his baggie of speed and began to create small lines with his banking card.
"Nick, you're a treasure", I said and smiled, as he rolled a twenty and handed it to me. "It's my pleasure", Nick said and I sniffed my line, then handing the twenty to Freyja.
"Well, well, well", Freyja said and took hers, sniffing deeply and exhaling loudly.
"Let's get this party started." After we had all finished, we went back to the dance floor and in this moment, Gimme Gimme Gimme by Abba blasted through the boxes.
"As if you had jinxed it with your special music powers", Freyja said and spun around, taking my hand. I laughed and began to dance, finally being able to let go, just moving my body to my favourite music, smelling the thick, sweaty air, hearing the voices fading into each other and singing along to the song.