Poetry of the Soul

Forgive Me

(TW suicide)
My heart beats faster than ever before.
I can't help but stare as you walk out the door.
We're alone in our house and I've been waiting all day.
You've been at work and I can't wait to hear the words you say.
Then I jolt awake realizing it was just a dream.
Now awake down my face tears stream.
I wish what I had seen was true.
I wish I could spend one more day with you.
I can't because now you're gone.
I think about you sometimes till dawn.
I miss you even though it's been awhile.
Now I have someone to make me smile.
I feel guilty even though I shouldn't.
I wish I could've saved you but I couldn't.
I didn't know how because I was too young.
I remember running to your house as my head rung.
When I found you you were already dead.
My mind ran through all the things I could've said.
I kept telling myself I was to blame.
All these years later I still tell myself the same.
I know there was a way I could've saved you.
No matter what others say I know it's true.
I could've kept you from ending your life.
If I would've stopped from continuing your strife.
I miss you more than I can explain.
Now I wish I could take back that pain.
You left and that hurt.
You're the person that made me become alert.
Though I don't blame you, only me.
I am still upset don't you see?
Upset with myself and the situation.
And I guess this may just be an exaggeration. 
But I hope you know I'll never forgive myself.
And I keep everything you gave me on a shelf.
Though I'm in love I'll never forget you.
I hope you forgive me more than I do.