fated love

Chapter twenty-two

Shawn

After hugging my mother this morning I felt as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. She didn't fight when I pulled away after a few minutes when I started to feel overwhelmed with emotions. She wiped my eyes and I let her kiss my forehead. I met eyes with Annie and she was relieved to see me opening up. I could tell she was hurting a little that I wasn't ready to hug her yet.

I pull her aside and she looks at me confused. "Will you be my best woman," I ask with a smile. 

She goes to give me a hug and stops mid motion. A mix of emotions crosses over her face as tears fill her eyes and I hold my arms open for her. She doesn't hesitate, comes in my arms and lets out relieved sobs. I rub her back in comfort and she holds onto me. "I know you're alive, but it felt like you died back in Iraq and an empty shell came home," she chokes in a sobbed whisper. "I missed my sister."

"I'm sorry," I choke quietly as our mother walks in the den. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I thought I was protecting you from myself. Eight members of my team are dead, under my command. I can't stand to lose anyone else."

"What made you want to open up again," Annie asks curious, pulling away enough to look at me.

"Melanie said some things to me to make me realize that I am not at fault for the deaths of my team. She is living proof of that," I choke in relieved sobs. 

Annie takes me in her arms and rubs my back comfortly. "Mom, can you get Abbigail please? I think Shawn is going into an attack," Annie says in a soothing tone, stroking my hair. 

My mother leaves to get Abbigail and Annie does her best to calm me down. She sways side to side the way she used to when she helped me calm down from being bullied. I let out a calming breath and lay my head on her shoulder. I close my eyes as she continues to sway and stroke my hair.

I let out a calming breath as I hear my mother and Abbigail walk in. "She sounds calm. Is she okay," Abbigail asks with concern. 

"She was having an attack, but I was able to calm her down like I used to when we were kids," Annie says with relief. 

I feel a hand on my back and open my eyes to see Abbigail. I let go of Annie and go to Abbigail. She reaches her hand inside my shirt and strokes the scar on my waist. I let out a completely relaxed sigh and she kisses my cheek. "Melanie told me what's been bothering you," she whispers in my ear, rubbing my back comfortly. "Please don't be afraid to tell me anything."

"I'm not, I just don't want to stress you with all this when you're already stressed enough," I say quietly and kiss her forehead. 

"Listening to you distracts me from my stress. The twins and I find your voice very soothing," she says in a soothing whisper.

I smile and say, "I'll try to talk more often then."

She lets out a laugh and rests her head on my shoulder. "Annie agreed to be my best woman. You already asked Ashlee to be your matron of honor, Beth is one of your bridesmaids and I was going to ask Melanie to be one of mine," I say softly as I rub her back. "When did you want to get married?"

She tilts her head up towards me and feels my face to see if I was joking. When she realized that I was serious, tears fill her eyes and she asks in a choked whisper, "How soon can you book us at the church?"

"I asked Melanie to book us for next week the day before I was discharged from the hospital. I had a feeling you would say yes," I say softly and give her a kiss as tears roll down her cheeks. "We already have the marriage license, our wedding bands and our witnesses. Your dress should still fit over your baby belly and I still plan to wear my uniform..."