Thoughts of a Young Lady

/The pressure of being perfect/ The pressure of not failing/

There is this 'great' advice I used to get from a lot of my well-wishers when I wanted to pursue a career less popular. "Do whatever you want to, pursue any career, but just excel in what you are doing." Such a comforting thought then. Because my focus was on the formal part of the advice. I had freedom to pursue my dreams. So liberating.

But then, as time passed by, the latter part started unknowingly creating pressure. More than an internal need to know and learn more, it became obligatory to excel for having got the freedom. I had no option of my decision turning out wrong and me realising maybe this is not what I want to do, was Impossible. This whole 'excelling' part turned out to be a trap; a big cage. And all this while I thought I was free!

More than that, it didn't even leave an option of being average. I had to excel, I had to top no matter how hard it is, how dissatisfying it is. Makes me wonder, why is being average so bad? This whole idea of competition and rat race have fucked up with more factors than creativity. It didn't widen opportunities or increased success rate, but redefined success to mean something so less, so minute, so rigid that everything else outside looks average, bad and undesirable.

Failures don't mean death. They don't mean we are going to live the rest of our lives cribbing and regretting and suffering.
Making bad decisions is as normal as watching bad movies. Or ordering the wrong food. Moreover, correcting those decisions is the important part. Much better than pushing oneself hard, staying where you are and sulking all life.