Euphoric Innocence

🔹- Virgin

"Okay. Today's the last day of our monthly questionnaire game, are you excited?" I ask Alyxe. Through the entire length of this month, we've been asking each other one question a day, just like the game suggests.

"Only because I'm playing the game with you, if I was playing this with anyone else, I would've ended it after the first day, actually before the first question was even asked." Alyxe replied.

I felt my face heat up and boy was I glad to be brown-skinned. It was a blessing and a curse at times, but right now, it serves as a blessing since he couldn't see the blush that was trying to escape from my cheeks. This was something we did regularly, teasing each other, bashing others. And honestly, I loved it. It felt good to have someone who thought the same as me, who made the same facial expressions as me at the exact same time.

"Aw, Lyxe, I feel so special," I teased, causing him to chuckle.

"You should," he replied plainly. He wrapped his arm around my waist and gave me a simply kiss on my cheek, he did that alot, showed affection towards me, even in public, which I didn't expect, since most people prefer to not show PDA in public, or basically not be as touchy around other people, but not Alyxe. With every chance he got, he was all over me.

"So, what's the grand question of the day?" He asked me.

I tapped my index finger on my cheek and looked over at a painting that resided in front of me, "Okay, got it. What's the longest you've ever gone without masturbating?" I asked with a smirk.

"Wow, Annie," he chuckled, letting go of my waist, he walked over to a wall, and let his head lean against it as he let out the cutest of laughs, "I definitely didn't expect that one."

"I mean what can I say?" I smirked, "I'm unpredictable."

"That you are," he said, catching his breath and placing himself in front of me, "Are you saying you wanna help me masturbate, Miss Rosemary?"

"Boo," I groaned, "Just answer the question," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Uhh, we've known each other for a month, so uhhh, probably about 6 months, including the month we've known each other." He said, shrugging.

My jaw dropped, I didn't expect him to be a masturbater, I assumed he was too innocent for that.

"Don't look so surprised, princess, 6 months ago was my first time doing it. People around me were bragging about it and I don't know, all of a sudden I was hard, and I had to get rid of it somehow, so I did what I knew."

"Did you like... watch something or look at magazines while you did it? Or did you just... do it?" I asked, it felt awkward phrasing it the way I did, but I didn't know any other ways of asking it.

"If you mean did I watch porn, then no, I did not. I just thought about somethings that turn me on and just went along with it, I never put a body or face to it, but just the thought of doing it or experiencing it kind of helped me out."

"I've never heard of that method," I admitted, "But, it sounds interesting."

"Okay, my turn, princess."

"FInal question of the game, let's hear it." I said, bringing my knees to my chest and laying my chin on top of the crease it created.

"Miss Rosemary," he started.

"Yes, Mr. Dallmenté?"

"Are you a virgin?"

Well, shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Yes." I mumbled, my head was now buried between my knees. I was embarrassed. Here I was at my big age, still a virgin. But, I couldn't help but wonder if he was one too. I would understand if he wasn't, I mean, some people want it earlier in life than others, he's probably like one of those party boys who- well, he's not a party boy, so that's not a good scenario.

"I figured." He said.

My head shot up, and my eyes directed themselves towards his gorgeous ones.

"What do you mean you figured?" I asked. I don't know if I should take offense to his answer or just leave it alone.

"You're not like the non-virgins at our school. They make it known that they're not virgins, flirting with all the jocks and oversexualizing themselves, granted, some of those responses can come from childhood trauma and possibly even daddy issues, and I can tell the difference, but the ones who have no trauma and have a good relationship with both of their parents make it too known."

"Oh, I see." I said, letting my focus be on my shaking hands. I wonder if he thinks of me differently now. Is it embarrassing that I'm a virgin? To me it is. Some would say that I get no play, and that's true. I don't put myself out there to get any play.

"Hey, don't worry, it doesn't matter to me whether or not you're a virgin," he said, grabbing a hold of my hand. His touch ceased the shaking. "Even if you weren't a virgin, you'd still be my Annie." he said with a smile.

My face began to heat up again before a smirk made its way onto my face, highlighting my features, "Oh?"

"What? What do you mean 'oh?'" He asked, raising one of his neatly trimmed eyebrows.

"I'm yours?" I asked, my smirk deepening.

"Always," he chuckled, walking to his kitchen. I heard him looking through his cabinets, probably looking for a snack or something. While he searched throughout the kitchen doing whatever it was he was doing, I sat dumbfounded on the couch. I couldn't get his words out of my head.

My Annie.

My Annie.

My Annie.

Did he mean that in a best friend type of way? A relationship type? My brain couldn't decide.

"Annie," Alyxe called out to me. But, I didn't register his voice at first, too lost in my thoughts to pay attention to anything else around me. "Annie," he repeated.

"Yes?" I mumbled.

"You okay?" he asked, he was still in the kitchen but he was an observer, he could tell when something was wrong.

"I'm fine." I clarified with a sigh, "Did you need something?"

"Pasta for dinner?" he asked.

"Sure," I nodded.

He smiled and went back to the kitchen, while my thoughts began consuming my entire being yet again. I hated when this happened, it sometimes led to a panic attack or worse, an episode.

With that in mind, I remembered that I'd forgotten to take my medicine today. It totally slipped my mind.

"Alyxe, I have to go," I said, standing up and gathering my things.

"Where are you going? Is everything okay?" he asked, placing the spoon inside the pot and walking worriedly towards me.

I held my hand out to him, prompting him to stop. He looked at me with a hurt expression. I'd never done this to him before, and it hurt me almost as much as it hurt him to do so, if not more. But, I couldn't let him get wrapped up in my problems, not yet.

Just give me some time. A little more time.

"I'm fine, I'll see you at school," I said, walking out of the door quickly so he didn't have time to stop me.

As I walked to my car, my heart felt heavy. Full of sadness. Or maybe regret. Hell, maybe it was both.

I hated it, making Alyxe feel sad. I hated the look that I saw on his face before I walked out of the door. But, I figured what I was doing was for his own good.

I didn't want him to know about my problems. I didn't want to ruin what we had by having him pity me. I hated pity. Pity hurt me. I'm sure it hurt everybody.

It made everything weird and awkward and I hated those feelings, I hated feeling those feelings.

As I unlocked my door and stepped inside my home, a feeling of dread washed over me, as well as one of tiredness. I needed to take my meds, now. Though I hated my meds, I had to remember.

Bad things happen when I don't take my meds.

I could die if I don't take them.

And I don't want to die just yet.

"What a great day to end the one month anniversary of Alyxe and I's friendship." I sighed sarcastically.