The boys gather around me as I break into sobs.
I missed it... I missed it all.
I missed the group hugs when the boys were grieving. I missed saying goodbye.
Because I couldn't let go.
"It's okay, it'll be okay," Liam says, running his fingers through my hair as Louis does. Did.
"No, I- it-," I try, getting stopped by my own sobs, I can't explain it. It won't be okay.
I can't... I can't not have Louis. It doesn't work. Louis keeps me going. Louis makes it okay. Without him... Everything's wrong.
I sob harder into someone's shirt, and it's the wrong shirt, all the smells are the wrong smell.
I'm supposed to cry on Louis, I'm supposed to smell lavender, because that's how he smelled. And he's supposed to be here.
It isn't fair. This isn't fair. The universe can't give him to me and make me happy just to take him like this. It's not fair.
I faintly notice other sobs joining mine as the embrace gets tighter. But it's not right. Our group hugs have five people, not four. This is wrong, all of it is wrong.
He should be here.
YOU ARE READING
as it was (Complete)
FanfictionAs It Was - Larry Stylinson (complete) - Answer the phone, 'Harry you're no good alone, why are you sitting at home on the floor, what kind of pills are you on?' -- Book 1 - Sad Song - Without you, I feel broke, like I'm half of a whole. -- "I...
