The Bucket List

S e v e n

I can barely swallow my cereal as I sit by the kitchen table, scooping a spoonful of cheerios into my mouth. Ever since I'd woken up, my thoughts won't stop racing. I scold myself for inviting Jarred over and buying all that paint without thinking, for even agreeing to an all nighter with this guy I barely knew.

Oh, God. What would Bella say? What would my mother say? If anyone found out about this, I was dead meat, and Jarred probably was as well. I want to smash my head against the wall until I get a concussion and can't meet with Jarred tonight, but I'm doing my best to avoid my reckless side, unlike yesterday night.

I've tormented myself the whole morning trying to figure out what had gone on in my head last night. So far, my options include fatigue, carelessness, and one other option I'd rather not name but still somehow feels like the most likely of the three. Whenever this realization surfaces in my brain, I shove it immediately back down, ignoring it until it goes away for the time being. It's hard, especially considering how badly it wants to be heard.

Jarred's just a friend, I remind myself time and time again. Nothing more.

There was one horrifying moment when I wasn't so convinced of this statement, and that the possibility for something more was wide open. I dismissed this thought just as I had before, not wanting to even set foot in that territory of thought.

The hours pass by agonizingly slowly, leaving me incapable of functioning due to my mental torture. I stare at the cans of paint in the corner of my room for so long my eyes begin to tear up from lack of blinking. Over the last half hour before Jarred arrives, I shift my gaze to the clock and watch the seconds tick by. When the doorbell rings I'm almost paralyzed with fear, but I somehow work up the courage to sit up and climb down the stairs, my eyes meeting a pair of shocking blue ones as the door swings open.

"Marcy? Who is it?" My mom calls from her office.

"It's just Jarred," I reply. "He came to work on our project for a while."

Jarred stares at me. "She doesn't know?" he asks. "You surprise me, Marcy Platt."

"Shut up," I murmur through gritted teeth. "She'll hear you."

"My lips are sealed," Jarred promises. He has an orange duffel bag over his shoulder and a small paper bag in his hand. I invite him in and he steps off the stairs onto the polished floors. "I hope you bought snacks."

"I... um..." I mumble, shifting my weight from foot to foot. In all my obsessions over Jarred and the all nighter, I'd completely forgotten. Jarred laughs heartily and pats his duffel bag. "Don't worry. I got us covered."

We make our way up to my room, where Jarred lays down his bag and hands me the paper one. "I got something for you," he tells me. "I really hope you like it."

I take it curiously, intrigued by the sincerity in his voice. Inside is a package wrapped in navy blue paper, tied up with a yellow bow. I carefully remove the wrapper, revealing a set of stationary, personalized with my name on it.

I stare up at him, my mouth hanging open. "You didn't have to get me all this."

Jarred shrugs. "I wanted to. And anyway, you need a place to store our adventures together."

I smile at him, and he smiles back. For a second, I want to throw the stationary to the floor and hug him, delighted that the Jarred from the carnival has returned, but before I manage to, my mom knocks on the door.

"How come you're working so late on the project?" she pops her head in, her eyes immediately flying to Jarred's duffel bag.

"It was a last minute thing, mom," I say, snapping my fingers nervously behind my back. "Jarred just brought over the materials we'll need."