The Bucket List

N i n e

I was wrong. By the time lunch has arrived, the videos of my prank with Jarred have gone viral, and the whole school is whispering about my greatness. I slip into the bathroom whenever I can, trying to avoid the crowds reaching out to pat my shoulder, high five me, and compliment me for my brilliance.

I see Jarred occasionally, his behavior the exact opposite of mine as he basks in the fame and glory. It all feels so overwhelming to me, I can barely understand how he can handle it. Then I realize he comes from LA, where it must be like this all the time.

Eventually, my stomach starts growling, and I'm forced to face the cafeteria. I try to enter with my head bowed so no one will notice me, but with my flaming red curls I stand out among the crowds of blondes and brunettes. The minute someone notices me entering, the whispers begin.

Oh my gosh, it's her!

I wonder how she came up with it.

I hear she did it with the new guy.

I'm calling her for my team on April Fool's day!

I can feel my face heat up as I try to locate Bella in the crowd. What I did wasn't as amazing as it seems – I just filled an office with balloons, nothing else, but everyone seems to think of me as the most incredible student in the school. Everyone is calling me over to their table, asking me to come join them. There's only one voice I recognize.

"Marcy! Over here!" Jarred calls, beckoning me over. I head over in his direction, trying to weave my way through the chairs butting out of the tables and the stray feet stretched out across the floor. Jarred is seated with a couple of other boys his age, and I'm surprised to spot Bella and Abbie with them as well.

"As friends with the legendary Marcy Platt, our table is now the coolest one in the cafeteria!" Bella tells me as I sit down across from her. I make sure not to be next to Jarred, but Bella and Abbie still raise their eyebrows at me when I glance over at him. I guess the prank is not the only rumor going on regarding me.

"Marcy, meet Olilver Brooks and Alex Hayward," Jarred gestures to the two guys sitting at the table. Oliver has messy brown hair and brown eyes, while Alex is strawberry blond and hazel eyed. They look nice enough, so I give them each a smile. If they're friends with Jarred, how bad can they be?

"So, Marcy, my parents are away for the week and I've got a party going on Thursday night." Alex tells me. "Wanna come? It'd be super cool to have you. You too, guys," he nods at Bella and Abbie.

They nod back immediately, but I take a moment to think it over. I know that it's an item on my bucket list to go to a party, but I'm still not sure I'm ready for that. "Um, maybe next time," I say. "I-I've got this... thing going on Thursday night."

I can see Jarred frowning at me as Alex nods. "That's cool. They go on a lot of business trips. I'm sure I'll have another chance in a couple weeks."

I ignore my friends' demands as to why, Jarred's frustrated look, and the rest of the noise in the cafeteria as I scoop a mouthful of mac-and-cheese into my mouth. If I'm not ready, I'm not ready, and they'll all have to deal with that.

The sweet smell of baked goods wafts through the Colton's kitchen as I pull the second baking sheet out of the oven. Our bake-off has finally gotten to the real fun part, and I bite into Jarred's chocolate chip cookie, not exactly sure what to expect. What I receive instead of the mouthful of gooey deliciousness I was hoping for, is a mouthful of underbaked dough and clumps of chocolate that are way too big.

I want to spit it out, but I realize how rude that would be, so I swallow in one huge gulp. Jarred can clearly see how disgusted I am, because he raises an eyebrow. "You actually swallowed it?" he inquired, chuckling lightly. "Wow. You've got some guts!"

"How did you know?" I rasp, remainders of cookie dough stuck to my throat.

"Anyone who knows me knows I can't bake," he explains, still laughing. He grabs one of my cookies. "Let's see if you do any better."

He eats the whole cookie in one shot, shoving it all into his mouth, which I never realized before was so enormous. His face melts with pleasure, and he lets out a delighted, "Mmf," as he chews. "You can bake," he compliments, his mouth still full.

"I guess that means you didn't kick my butt, doesn't it?" I taunt, and he scowls mockingly. "Well at least I know how to come up with good physics experiments!" he shoots back.

Then his tone softens. "Hey, how come you don't want to come to Alex's party on Thursday? After the prank and all I thought you might be ready."

"I don't know if I am," I confess, more to myself than to him. I was so convinced I wasn't ready that I didn't even give room for the possibility that I was. "I might be, but, y'know, maybe not. And I don't want to risk it yet. Plus, my mom is probably getting suspicious. I don't know for how long I can lie to her, so I should probably spend the next few days with her."

I can't tell if Jarred is hurt by this. His face contorts into a few weird positions before he nods in understanding. "That's cool, I guess," he says, fiddling with his flour covered sleeve.

We take some time to clean up the messy kitchen, wiping down the counters and putting all the ingredients away. Neither of us has anything to say, so we clean in silence, meeting each other's eyes every now and then. By the time I have to leave, the sun is already setting behind the trees, and Jarred and I still haven't said a word.

"Uh, see you around, I guess," Jarred scratches the back of his neck as I stand in the doorway. "Yeah, you too," I reply. We stare at each other for a moment. "I guess I should go," I point behind me when it's gotten too awkward. "Yeah, yeah, totally," he nods, and I turn to leave with a wave.

The walk home is long, but I don't mind. The air is nice as spring is approaching, not too hot, not too cold. And yet, even despite the wonderful weather, my thoughts are elsewhere. I can't stop thinking about my mother, what she thinks about what I've done in the past few weeks. I know she wouldn't approve, but after today, I doubt she'll remain in the shadows, thanks to my viral video.

And I'm right. When I get home, she's sitting at the kitchen table, her phone in her hands and a disappointed look on her face.

I inhale deeply, preparing myself for the worst. "Hey, mom," I say, stepping up beside her. She turns to me. "This is you, right?" she asks, pointing to the screen of her phone where I am standing in the freshman hallway.

I want to lie, to say there's some other redhead in the school who looks just like me, but I don't. I nod, being honest with my mother for once. She sighs and leans back in her chair. "It's because of Jarred, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Did he dare you to do this? That night he came over? I know he didn't leave, by the way. I heard you two chatting all through the night. I just didn't say anything so as to not get in the way of any important schoolwork. Now I know what you were really doing."

"Mom, that's not what went on that night," I say in my defense. "Jarred just offered to pull an all nighter with me, and I-"

"You agreed?" my mother guesses. I swallow hard and nod. "Why? Why would you do that on a school night? You've always been such a good girl, Marcy."

"Yeah, I know, this was one slip-up, okay?"

"It doesn't look like just one," she motions to her phone again. "How many things has he dared you to do?"

"He didn't dare me to do anything, mom," I say, clenching and unclenching my fists to stay calm. "I chose to do those things."

"He's a bad influence on you," she proclaims. "I don't want you to hang out with him anymore."

"Mom, he's helping me!" I start to raise my voice, not even realizing I'm doing it. "He's letting me be myself."

"The Marcy I know doesn't play pranks on teachers." I've never seen my mother so upset before in my life. Even so, my tone doesn't soften with my next words.

"Well... I... Maybe I don't want to be the Marcy you know!"

I stomp up the stairs, feeling tears sting my eyes. My words come from a place inside me I never knew existed, one with so much to say it's overwhelming. Only when I reach my room, I finally realize what just happened. But I don't know what happened. So I whisper it out through my tears.

"What just happened?"