A Single Rose (a Valentine's Story)

Chapter 8

Fuelled by uncharacteristic optimism, I turned my attention back to the note.

Hint 3: The barrier that divides Rusty and other kitty pets from Firestar and other clan cats.
Reason #3: Your smile when you are reading a good book

It seemed most likely that the hint led to the wooden fence surrounding the school garden, but I wouldn't know for certain until later, since I am unable to go and look until first break, which meant I still had to get through the rest of my double study and then single Math period.
Darn, that's annoying.
Then I shrugged my shoulders good-naturedly, oh well, it can't be helped.
If nothing else, I was a (mostly) patient person.

Knowing that nothing else could be done about the third hint, I turned my attention to the third reason, at the same time repeating the other reasons to myself,

Your Kindness, Your Intelligence, and now, your smile when you are reading a good book.

I felt my heart warm upon reading the newest addition to the growing list - the list that made me forget, if only for a second, all of my inadequacies. The wording of it, so specific, made me feel actually seen. Any person could just generically say "your smile" without meaning it, but to specify that it my smile when I was reading... it meant they actually saw me.

I softly smiled to myself, clutching the note to my chest. I tried to savour this feeling of happiness. To not lose this warm glow of hope inside. Hope that it was real. Hope that maybe I wasn't as... well... it's difficult to describe. I guess the best way to put it is that maybe I'm not as... unlovable as I thought I was?
I just found it difficult to believe that anyone could actually like me.

And, just like that, all the familiar, cold doubts crashed over me again, dampening my spirits.

How could anyone truly like me?