Undertale: A true pacifist

Outside of the Ruins and Snowdin

Frisk walks through the final door out of the Ruins sacred and confident. They feel like they're being followed, they stop at a bridge.*

Sans: Human. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand. *Frisk turns around to shake Sans hand to the whoopee cushion in the hand trick* Hahaha. The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's ALWAYS funny. Anyway, You're a human, right?

Frisk: Um... Yes.

Sans: That's hilarious! I'm Sans. Sans the skeleton. I'm actually supposed to be on the watch for humans right now. But, you know, I don't really care about capturing anybody. Now my brother, Papyrus, is a human hunting fanatic. Actually, I think that's him over there. I have an idea. Go through this gate thing. Ya, go right through. My bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone. *Frisk and Sans go through the bars* Quick, behind that conveniently shaped lamp. *Frisk makes it behind the lamp right before Papyrus comes to see Sans* Sup, bro?

Papyrus: YOU KNOW WHAT'S "SUP" BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOUR EVEN DOING?!

Sans: Staring at this lamb. It's really cool. Do you wanna look?

Papyrus: NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE!? I WANNA BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT! RECOGNITION! I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO BE MY FRIEND! I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING!

Sans: Hmm. Maybe this lamp will help you.

Papyrus: SANS, YOU ARE NOT HELPING! LAZY BONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!

Sans: Hey, take it easy. I've gotten a ton of work done today. A skeleton. *Sans winks*

Papyrus: SANS!

Sans: Come on. You're smiling.

Papyrus: AND I HATE IT! *SIGH* WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION?!

Sans: Wow, sounds like you're really working yourself, down to the Bone. *Sans winks*

Papyrus: UGH! I WILL ATTEND MY PUZZLES! AS FOR YOUR WORK? PUT MORE, BACKBONE INTO IT! NYHEHEHEHEHE
*Papyrus walks away then walks back* HEH *Then walk back off*

Sans: Ok, you can come out now. *Frisk come out from behind the lamp then walks to Sans*

Sans: You oughta get going. He might come back. And if he does you'll have to set through more of my hilarious jokes. *Sans winks and Frisk walks off to get stopped by Sans*
Actually, hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor? I was thinking... My brother's been kind of down lately. He's never seen a human before. Seeing you might just make his day. Don't worry, he's not dangerous, even if he tries to be. Thanks a million. I'll be up ahead. *Sans walks off the other way and Frisk walks off and eventually gets to Sans and Papyrus. They look at Frisk and and back at each other over and over*

Papyrus: SANS! OH MY GOD! IS THAT... A HUMAN?!

Sans: Ummm, actually, I think that's a rock.

Papyrus: Oh.

Sans: What's that in front of the rock?

Papyrus: OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN!?

Sans: yes.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL... I'LL BE SO... POPULAR! *Sings* POPULAR! *clears throat* HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN... I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT! CONTINUE, ONLY IF YOU DARE, HUMAN! NYHEHE! *papyrus leaves*