Undertale: A true pacifist

Hang out with Undyne

*Frisk goes to Waterfall in front of Undyne's house to see Papyrus*

Papyrus: HOHO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE!? I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU TWO GREAT FRIENDS!

Frisk: Sounds, great.

Papyrus: OK! STAND BEHIND ME! Make sure to give her this bone. She loves these.
*Frisk takes bone. Papyrus knocks on the door. Undyne answers*

Undyne: Hi Papyrus! Ready for your extra private, one on one training?

Papyrus: YOU BET I AM! AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!
*Papyrus moves out of the way*

Undyne: Hi. I don't think we've... Why don't you two come in?
*They all go inside*

Papyrus: HERE UNDYNE! MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU ON THEIR OWN!
*Frisk gives her the bone*

Undyne: Um, thanks. I'll put it with the others.
*Undyne puts the bone in a drawer full of bones*
So... Are we ready to start?

Papyrus: WOOPSY DOOPSY! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!
*Papyrus jumps out the window and hides.*

Undyne: So, why are YOU here? To rub your VICTORY in my face? To HUMILIATE me even further? IS THAT IT?!

Frisk: No!

Undyne: Then why are you here?! Wait! I get it! You think I'm gonna be friends with you, huh? RIGHT!?

Frisk: Yes. I'd love to be your friend.

Undyne: Really?! How delightful! I accept, human! Let's all frolic in the fields of friendship! NOT! Why would I ever want to be friends with YOU!? If you weren't my houseguest I'd beat you up right now! You're the enemy of everyone's hopes and dreams! I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Papyrus: DANG! What a shame... I thought Undyne COULD BE friends with you. But I guess... I overestimated her. She's just not up to the challenge.
*Papyrus leaves for real*

Undyne: CHALLENGE?! PAPYRUS! Darnit! He thinks I can't be friends with YOU?! Fuhuhu! What a joke! I could make friends with a wimpy loser like you ANY day! I'll show him! LISTEN UP, HUMAN! We're not just going to be friends... We're going to be BESTIES! I'll make you like me so much that you won't be able to think about anyone else! Fuhuhu! It's the perfect revenge! Why don't you have a seat?
*Frisk takes a seat*
Comfortable? I'll get you something to drink.
*Undyne gets out the drinks*
Ready! What would you like?
*Frisk gets up to get a drink. Undyne throws her spear to the table*
HEY! DON'T GET UP! YOU'RE THE GUEST! SIT DOWN AND ENJOY YOURSELF! Um... Why not just point to what you want with the spear.
*Frisk points to the teas*

Frisk: I'll take the Golden flower tea.

Undyne: Coming right up.
*Undyne starts to make the tea*
It'll take a moment for the water to boil. Ok. It's all done.
*Undyne gets the tea and brings it to the table*
Here we are.
*Undyne puts the tea down and sits on the other side of the table*
Careful, it's hot. It's not THAT hot. Just drink it already!
*Frisk drinks the tea*
It's pretty good, right? Nothing but the best for my ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS FRIEND! You know... It's kind of strange you chose THAT tea... That's Asgore's favorite kind. Actually, now that I think about it... You kind of remind me of him. YOU'RE BOTH TOTAL WEENIES! Sort of... I was a pretty hotheaded kid. Once, to prove I was the strongest I tried to FIGHT ASGORE. I couldn't land a single blow on him. And worse, he refused to fight back. I was so humiliated... Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy... He said, "Excuse me? Do you want to know how to beat me?" I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. I felt bad... But he was beaming... I had never seen anyone more proud to get their butt kicked. Long story short, he kept training me. And now I'm head of the Royal Guard! So now I'm the one who gets to train the dorks to fight! Like, Papyrus... But, to be honest... I don't know if I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal guard. Don't tell him I said that! He's just... I mean, It's not that he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough! It's just that he's... He's too innocent and nice! I mean, he was SUPPOSED to capture you, and he ended up being FRIENDS with you instead! I could NEVER send him into battle! He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds. That's part of why I started teaching him how to cook. So maybe, he can do something else with his life. Oh, sorry. I was talking for so long... You're out of tea, aren't you?

Frisk: Ya.

Undyne: I'll get you some more.
*Undyne walks off to get more tea then stops*
Wait a second... Papyrus! His cooking lesson! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW! And if HE'S not here to have it... You'll have to have it for him! That's right! NOTHING has brought Papyrus and I closer together than cooking! Which means if I give you his lesson... WE'LL BE CLOSER THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE! FUHUHU! AFRAID? WE'RE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS!
*Undyne jumps off the counters, grabs Frisk, then goes to the counters*
Let's start with the sauce! Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Pound them into dust with your fists!

Frisk: Ok Undyne. *Frisk pounds them and knocks a tomato over*

Undyne: YA! Our hearts are uniting against these healthy ingredients! NOW IT'S MY TURN! NHGGGGG!
*Undyne crushes all the veggies*
Uh... We'll just scrape them into a bowl later! But for NOW we add the noodles! Homemade noodles are the best, but I just buy storebrand! They're the CHEAPEST! NHGGGG! Um... Just pound them into the pot.

Frisk: Yes ma'am! *Frisk throws everything into the pot fiercely*

Undyne: YA! I'M INTO IT! It's time to stir the pasta! As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir the BETTER it is! Ready?!
*Frisk stirs fast as they can*

Undyne: Stir harder! Harder! HARDER! Let me do it!
*Frisk moves aside and Undyne stabs the pasta with her spear*
FUHUHUHU! THAT'S THE STUFF! Now for the final step! TURN UP THE HEAT! Let the stovetop symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams turn into burning fire! Ready?! Don't hold back!

Frisk: Whatever you say.
*Frisk turns up the heat*

Undyne: Hotter! HOTTER! Ugh! LET ME DO IT! See! This is how you-
*Everything in the house burns*
Man. No wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking.

Frisk: Um... Ya.

Undyne: What's next? Scrapbooking? Friendship bracelets? Who am I kidding. I really screwed this up, didn't I? I can't force you to like me. Some people just don't get along. I understand if you feel that way about me. And if we can't be friends... That's ok. Because if we're not friends... IT MEANS I CAN DESTROY YOU WITHOUT REGRET!
*faux battle starts*
I've been defeated... My house is in shambles... I even failed to befriend you... That's it. I don't care if you're my guest. One final rematch! All out on both sides! COME ON! HIT ME WITH ALL YOU GOT! NGAHHH!

Frisk: Ok Undyne. Here I go.
*Frisk pretends to attack her*

Undyne: What? That's the best you can manage? Even attacking at full force...

Frisk: I can't hurt you.

Undyne: You know what?
*Undyne drops her spear*
I don't actually want to hurt you either. At first, I hated you... But the way you just hit me... It reminded me of someone I used to train with. Now I know you aren't just some wimpy loser. You're a wimpy loser with a big heart! Just like him... It seems that you and Asgore are fated to fight. But knowing him he probably doesn't want to fight. Talk to him. I'm sure you can persuade him to let you go home. Eventually some mean human will come down here and I can take THEIR SOUL! That makes sense, right? And if you DO hurt Asgore... I'll take the human souls, cross the barrier, and beat the hell out of you! That's what friends are for, right?! Fuhuhu! Now let's get the hell out of this flaming house.
*Faux battle ends. Frisk and Undyne get out of the house*
Well that was fun, huh?

Frisk: Ya.

Undyne: We'll have to hang out another time! But... Somewhere else I guess... In the meantime, I guess I'll go hang out with Papyrus. If you need me, drop by Snowdin. And if you ever need help just give Papyrus a ring. Sense we're in the same spot, I'll be able to talk too. See ya late, Punk!
*Undyne leaves and Frisk moves on to Hotland*