[✔] White over Red (boyxboy)

֍CHAPTER 21: Tears

It must be a dream. He is sure of it. Because right now, he is lying down side by side next to his twin brother on a damp ground. Leaves of colors red, yellow and orange are falling down on them. It was like that time when they were young. The last time they spent together as children before their parents' divorce. Though they met again once or twice a year after that, nothing compared to the moment when they were really in each other's worlds. During that time, they relied on each other and only needed one another.

"Kliment,..." Kirill calls out to his twin brother but then he feels like something is stuck in his throat and he can't ask the question he's been meaning to ask.

It was as if, if he asks that question, the tranquility between them will be broken. And the awful reality will hit him hard in the chest.

Kliment turns his head to look at Kirill. His eyes softened as he looked at his beloved twin brother affectionately. "Are you angry?" He suddenly asked.

Kirill doesn't know how to answer. Tears start to roll down from his eyes. Is he angry? He doesn't know. All he knows is that it hurts too much. What else is it that he doesn't know about Kliment? How ignorant was he? He regrets that he didn't understand him while he was alive. And even now, listening to the voice he had long forgotten what it used to sound like also hurts him very much. There's a deep longing in him. A deep sadness and regret. So he couldn't stop crying.

"I'm sorry," he whispers through his tears. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He keeps apologising. He doesn't know how many times he has said 'sorry'. But that was the only word he could say. And he could no longer see Kliment. He could no longer hear him.

He wakes up to complete darkness. His heart turns black. His head is muddled and he feels lost.

Kirill skipped school for about a week. He didn't go back to his dorm either. He is currently at his mother's house. When he passed out that day, he was brought to this house since it is his mother's after all. It was a place he wanted to avoid going to the most. But now this place strangely offers the most peace for him. He hated his mother with a passion but at the moment, he hates himself more than he ever hated anyone in his life.

He is lying on Kliment's bed, looking up at the ceiling. His mother told him that she didn't change anything in the room. She left everything exactly as it was since Kliment went missing. Kirill feels numb and empty inside. He doesn't feel connected to Kliment at all. Everything in the room belonged to a stranger. Kliment is a stranger to him. He doesn't know him at all.

His phone suddenly vibrated. He looks to find that an unknown number was calling him. He picks up the call a little hesitantly. "Hello?"

"Kirill," the voice on the other line calls out to him. Kirill recognizes the voice at once. "It's Stepan. How have you been doing?" He asks.

Kirill doesn't know how to answer at first but quickly decides to tell the truth. "Not good," he simply replies.

There is silence on the other end for a moment. He then hears a sigh and Stepan starts to speak again. "If you have anything that you'd like to know, you can ask. I promise you I will answer truthfully," he says.

Sometimes Kirill wonders why Stepan always seems to be able to read through him. He feels uncomfortable but at the same time, he also feels a little relieved. It is as if he has someone to share his burden. But he doesn't want his emotions to get the best of him just yet. "What makes you think I'd have anything to ask?"

"Kirill," Stepan called out his name again.

"Hmm?"

"You have doubts, questions and suspicions. This, I am aware," Stepan declared. "But, trust me, and trust my friends. We also want to find Kliment. Just like you. If possible, we want to find him alive."

To this statement, tears started to roll down on Kirill's face again. "You can't..." Kirill started to speak in a broken voice. It causes Stepan to feel panicked. He has never imagined that Kirill would cry. Kirill always appears to be strong and unaffected. By this time, hearing his voice distorted like that, makes Stepan feel very uncomfortable. "You can't find him... alive," Kirill continues talking as he cries nonstop. "Kliment is dead," he finally said it. He finally said it aloud and let it all out. "Kliment is already dead, Stepan."

Kirill hears the sounds of keys jingling and movements from the other line. "Wait for me. I'll come to you," Stepan coaxes and ends the call immediately.

Kirill continues to cry on the bed until he feels numb and tired of crying. He opens his eyes slowly and the ceiling is still within his line of sight. An idea suddenly conjures up in his mind. In Kliment's memory at the doctor's office, Kliment hid something in the ceiling. Could it be...?

He wipes away the tears and gets up from the bed. He picks up a stool and places it at one end of the room. He climbs the stool and tries to lift one of the ceiling's covers with his hand. He tiptoes to look inside. To his surprise, in the darkness, with little lights guiding his eyesight, he can still make out a shape of something that is hidden in the ceiling.

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Next update: 2022/04/25