Take me away

Hope

Hours passed and nothing happened. I try to stay positive but I don't think that there is a chance that someone has seen us anymore. We have no idea what time it is but it felt like hours and the sun is going down. I take the sun as a clock. When its on the right side of the mountain its evening, when its on the left side its morning and in the middle its noon. Right now the sun is standing between the middle and the right side so I'm guessing it's afternoon. The helicopter came at noon. It must have been like 3 hours. We sat at the fire, next to the plane, inside the plane, on a stone behind the plane. Basically we switched places every few minutes. I don't even know why. Neither of us knows.
We were together the entire time but we haven't talked much, just a few words for three hours.

Something changed after I told Joe that I had a boyfriend. I have no boyfriend but I told him that. After that he seemed like he was angry at me and I don't get why. Okay I somehow get why. He told me about his feelings and I kind of broke his heart with my answer but I guess I just want to protect my own heart from getting broken. I like Joe, I like him a lot but I don't think that it is right to have romantic feelings for him. Especially not now. We have bigger problems at the moment than to think about what kind of relationship we have with each other.

Joe left me after a while to be on his own. I recognized that before. He always needs some time to be just by himself and I just accepted that. I don't want to ask him about anything from his past because it seemed like he didn't want to speak about that. I don't want to force him to tell me even though I'm curious what happed to him and his former girlfriend. I guess I need to wait for him to tell me.

The sun is going down more by the time and still we hadn't got any signal that anyone had seen us. I'm still on my own because Joe hadn't come back yet. Maybe he wants to avoid me and doesn't want to talk to me.
I have no more time to think about that as I heard sounds and when I look up I saw Joe coming up at me. He sat down next to me without saying a word. I notice that he always tries to keep a distance between us when we sit next to each other. Our legs were like 20 centimeters away from each other.

"Do you think they saw us?" I ask since Joe doesn't say anything and I want to hear his voice again.

"I don't know. It already takes long but I still have some hope." He says and tries to smile but I see on his face that he had the same feelings that I have.

"Really? I don't think that they saw us."

"You just have to believe it." He says.

"Are you always so optimistic?" I really was curious about that.

"I try to." His answer were short today.

"But sometimes you have to look the truth in the eye and the truth is that they won't come to rescue us." As I say that, he turns his head to the side and looks at me. There was no smile on his face anymore.

"I know that." He just says and looks down again.

"We are probably going to die here." I say and I hear him sigh.

"We won't."

"Of course we will. We have no food, no drink, its cold. We will freeze plus there are dangerous animals in the woods and the only thing we have is a broken plane." I get very nervous while saying this because this is the first time that I realize how low the chances of surviving actually are.

"Stop with that." Joe said in a louder voice.

"But its true."

"I know it is but I don't want to hear it. Listen, I'm not stupid. I know that we are probably going to die and no one will ever find us here but I don't want to think about this all the time. I try to get some hope for myself. Just so much that I don't freak out. I don't want to shout at you so I will better go inside now before I do." He says and his voice was already loud. I'm a bit overwhelmed by his reaction and don't say anything. He left and goes inside the plane.

I stay on my own and start to think about what happened. If it was my fault that he reacted like this. I'm worried and I thought I could express that to him but apparently he can't cope with that. We are different in the way we handle this situation and I think that this is normal and okay but we need to find a way to make a good team despite this difference. No one of us can survive here alone so I decide to follow him inside and apologize to him.

When I go inside, I see him sitting on the floor. He looks up at me as I come in. I can see on his face that he doesn't want me to be here but I want to solve this. I kneel next to him on the floor.

"Joe, I want to apologize to you. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to make you angry and I don't want you to be angry at me." I say.

"I'm not angry at you." He just replies.

"Then why did you left?"

"Because I got angry at myself for trying to hide the truth from myself. Everything you said was true. We are completely lost and all the time I tried to make myself believe that we can make it but I have to accept that we can't." He looks down the entire time. He sounds so hopeless. It was the first time that he sounds hopeless.

"I didn't mean that we can get out of here."

"What did you mean then?" He looks at my face and I see how his eyes, go down to my neck for a short moment.

"I just meant that the people in the helicopter didn't see us so they won't help us but maybe we will find another way." I say and realize how his eyes were still at my neck.

"Is something wrong with my neck?" I ask as he doesn't move his eyes away.

"No, you are perfect." He quickly says and I feel like this wasn't what he wanted to say.

"What?"

"Umm no but you are bleeding there." He says being embarrassed for his previous sentence and points at my neck. I move my hand up and touch my skin. As I look at my hand, I see blood on it.

"I don't know where that comes from." I have no idea. I can't remember that I hurt myself anywhere.

"Does it hurt?" He asks with a worried face.

"No I didn't even knew it was there. I guess I just got sting by anything."

"Okay good." He moves his eyes away but what he said a few seconds ago is still running through my mind. He thinks that I'm perfect. No one ever said that to me. I myself don't even think that this is true. The way he said it sounded so honest and true. He really must think that.