Red Velvet Pancakes Make Me Cry

A Million More

Dear YouKnowWhoYouAre,

Sometimes, I think that I need you

more than I need me.

Maybe it's because I felt alive

for the first time

when I was with you.

It's funny.

I hated you when I first met you.

I didn't like your hair.

I didn't like your nose.

I didn't like your eyes

And how they twinkled every time you smiled.

That reminds me.

I hate your smile,

How your rosy lips conveyed perfect contentment

I hate how all that your are and all that you have

shines a black shadow on everything I always lacked

But always desired.

I hate how you are okay

With the knowledge

Of how much I hate you

And despise your soul

I hate how you tell me

You still love me anyway.

I hate the Me who, unlike you,

Cannot get over my jealousy

How no matter how I love you,

I still hate you.

I really do.

But what I hate most of all

with a million times more passion

is how

no matter how much I really despise you,

no matter how much it hurts to look at you

and witness my glaringly obvious lackings,

no matter how many times I push and pull you around,

no matter how much I hate you,

I love you a million times more.

Love,

YouKnowWhoIAm