Red Velvet Pancakes Make Me Cry

You'll Never Know

My Dear Love,

You can't understand what it's like

until the situation is presented in front of you

To wait at the restaurant,

dressed to the nine's,

casually glancing at the clock,

telling the waiter that your party is coming,

swirling the water in your glass for the 263th time,

becoming more and more and more irritated,

with each second and second and second,

about to storm out

when

the manager rushes to your table,

flip phone in hand,

hands it to you, whispering "this is for you"

picking it up, hearing "Is this M—-? B—- has been declared kidnapped."

Thinking this is a joke.

B—- is funny.

Then comes crashing down the brunt of reality.

Running,

Crying,

Sobbing,

chaos.

darkness.

lost in confusion

but certain that you would do anything

to be swirling the water in your glass for the 264th time.

Certain that you are, were, will be, in love

because it's hell without him

there's not really any way to accurately describe it

by the fourth day,

I was disgusting:

tired and exhausted from unceasing searches

gaunt from a lack of appetite

dark, heavy bags under eyes from nightmares

Reality can be scary,

but imagination can be scarier.

on the fifth day,

came the phone call

and rushing to the hospital

in old, mismatched pajamas

and running to the hospital bed

to see your face

to see the person that I love

to see the only person that I'll ever need

forever

now

Every morning that I wake up in your arms

reminds me of the times that I woke up alone.

Every smile across your beautiful face

reminds me of the days that you were marred in bruises.

Every time I look into your eyes,

I hope

you'll never know

how strong love can be

I hope

you'll never know

what it's like to wake up alone

I hope

you'll never know

how much I love you.