A Pirate's Life For Us

Chapter 9 - You Will Never Love Me Again

Ed really wanted to hate Stede. He wanted to do what he had done his entire life - hurt people who hurt him. And sometimes, hurt them before they had a chance to hurt him.

But when that funny little man looked at him with those warm brown eyes, with apology and regret radiating off him in waves, Ed was helpless.

Stede looked like a child playing dress-up in ill-fitting pirate clothing, mismatched from people of a half dozen sizes as he cobbled together a persona with the aim of rescuing Ed from himself. He looked ridiculous.

But somehow, he was also the most handsome thing Ed had ever seen before in his life.

And when Stede kissed him, he was home.

He had never given anyone his heart before. And after Stede left him alone on that dock, he wondered why anyone would ever love. Why do it when it hurt that much? When it would rip away every careful layer of protection he'd built, and make him question everything about himself? He didn't want to be a monster again, but if Stede hadn't returned, it was only a matter of time before he reached for the armor of Blackbeard and hardened his heart again.

But the moment he saw Stede, he knew that all the pain was worth it. That he'd be hurt a thousand times over as badly as he was if he could also feel what it was like to be held and kissed and accepted for everything he was.

And then suddenly it was like nothing had happened. They were back to their easy banter and ready to take on the world together.

Stede stood there gesturing to a tiny door, part of the network of secret passageways he'd inexplicably built into the Revenge. It was the spot where they were to hide when the two ships engaged the merchants.

"So the plan is...we go out there, say we're working together, come up on the merchants, engage them..." Ed listed off the steps by touching a finger at a time. "And because Buttons sent...a seagull ahead to tell the merchants to be on our side, they'll fight with us to take care of Izzy's pirates."

"Yes! Oh, and all of our people are instructed to wear red bands on their arms when we engage so the merchants will know who's on our side. So we've got to find a way to let Frenchie, Fang and Ivan know that. Oh! And we need to break Jim out. They'll be useful in this fight. Especially since you and I will be hiding so we don't get arrested!"

Ed couldn't help but marvel at the absolute optimism of Stede Bonnet. He'd pulled off some mad schemes in his day, but they never required everything lining up perfectly.

The man was grinning out of nerves and excitement at Ed, and a good dose of fear. He was rocking forward on his heels and his hands were balled in fists.

Ed walked over, took both of Stede's hands in his, and then leaned forward to press a kiss on his forehead.

He felt the other man shudder under that kiss and draw in a sharp breath. "It's a mad plan, isn't it?"

"Yes. I love it."

—

The body of the man Ed had 'accidentally' killed when he walked in on them was stowed rather unceremoniously in a closet that used to hold all of Stede's powdered wigs.

Then, the two captains returned to the deck of the Revenge to announce that they had agreed to terms. Stede did a good job of looking cowed by him, and they announced that the William would only be entitled to half of the booty from one of the ships. It made him look good in front of his feral crew, and the fact that try as he might to put on a persona, Stede was still very much...Stede, and not someone anyone would believe could out-bargain Blackbeard.

It hurt even more than the last time for Ed to pull the persona of Blackbeard back on, but the reason he'd thrown the knife at Wheezer is because he knew that if he didn't, the man would have given them up. And not only would they have been killed, but it would have started a fight with the William.

And he'd already screwed up Anne Bonny's life enough. That was a fact he knew he'd have to reckon with before all of this was over. Though he wasn't surprised she was willing to help Stede. She'd always had a soft-spot for the weirdos.

So did he, as it turned out.

"Everyone on the Revenge will wear blue armbands. Everyone on the William will wear red. The merchants won't be in uniform, and that way we won't end up under friendly fire," said Ed as he walked forward, hands hitched in his belt. He glanced Frenchie's way and hoped against hope the bard would understand that he and the others were meant to wear red bands. "There's spare fabric from the drapes in the hold."

Stede made a little pained sound he couldn't totally hold back.

Those were probably expensive, hand-picked drapes.

Ed would apologize for that later.

"Also as part of the bargain, I'm giving up the prisoner, Jim," said Ed as he paced. "The William is headed ashore after that, and there's a modest bounty on their head. It'll be worth it to not have to feed the prisoner."

"Oi. Where's First Mate Hands? And Wheezer?" called a voice from the back of the crowd.

Stede looked wide-eyed at Ed and swallowed.

Ed strode casually forward. "Scouting mission. I sent them ahead to see if the merchant ships have any armaments we might not have been told about."

He knew what he had to do if he wanted to keep control of this lot. He desperately didn't want Stede to see it, but it couldn't be helped.

He walked up to the man who had asked the question. He loomed over the short, solidly built man. Calmly, he said, "Let me see your hand."

The man snorted, glanced at his mates who were now studying their shoes.

The man then reluctantly held up hishand.

Ed took his hand. He knew the combined crews were all watching him, but in particular he knew Stede was watching him.

He examined the man's rough and calloused hands, then paid careful attention to the pinkie. He folded the finger in, then pulled out his knife. In one quick slice, he removed the man's pinkie fingertip. Blood squirted out across the deck. The man howled in pain.

And then, speaking in the most bored tone he could muster, Ed murmured, "That's for questioning me." And then he gestured with the knife. "Any questions?"

All was silent except the creaking of timbers.

"Good. Now get to work. We have ships to pillage."

As he breezed past Stede, he avoided looking at him. He knew what he would see. But the situation demanded his demon be allowed to dance, hopefully for the last time.

"Make sail."

Ed had to hope that Stede would forgive him for that, and for the death of Wheezer. He might need to do worse before it was all over.