Just a small stick in my hand,
A box of them in the other.
A small scrape and light would show.
A small light in the darkness.
No stars, no moon to challenge,
No other source to show my deed.
I thumbed the match on my palm.
I shake the box to hear its tapping.
I softly roll back and forth on my heels,
Breathing in deeply to ravish the cold.
The cold easing down my chest,
Almost stinging like a million needles.
I grasp the small strip of wood,
It rubs raw on my fingertips.
I press it to the box intently.
I slide it across slowly, steadily.
Sparks fly and flicker hungrily.
It lights sharply engulfing my view.
The small ray of light illuminating the alley.
It flickers eagerly, ready to strike,
Looking, begging for me to give a target.
I twirled it between my thumb and pointer.
What is the saving grace of a man?
What is life but a split moment?
One couldn't save a person such as myself.
My life was an endless blackness,
A blackness that engulfed others fully,
A blackness I craved to spread elsewhere.
I extended my arm out from my body.
The light screamed loud in the darkness.
The fire hungrily burned down the wood,
Closer to my fingertips as punishment,
Punishment for making it starve longer,
I let it slip out of my grasp as the flames touched me.
It fell to me so much slower than I saw,
I watched it do somersaults in the air,
The flame going wild with excitement.
Down, down, down it went vigorously.
Hitting its target it found new life.
It's one true darling love had been found.
Gasoline mated with fire and exploded.
The explosion was bright and terrifying.
I stepped back instinctively to watch.
A dead eye rolled to watch me closely.
A hand lifted gently to point at me.
Eerily he smiled at me with that dead look.
A single tear rolling down his cheek.
I couldn't care less about any of this.
My face and body stayed emotionless.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets.
The light was blinding to look straight at,
But I stared unwaveringly despite this.
My sins slowly burning away with him.
My sins being cleansed in the flames.
My black soul turning white once again.
I felt the weight on my body lifting.
Turning on my heel to walk in the street.
I stood watching from across from the alley.
I struck another match with no thrill.
Lighting a cigarette between my teeth.
The world moved more rapidly now before me.
People finally emerged as hours fled by.
I closed my eyes just waiting and waiting,
Waiting for that first sweet scream to sound.
I couldn't stand leaving before hearing it.
Finally, finally a person turned their head.
The scream, oh the scream was perfect.
It rung loud in clear in the cold crisp air.
It sent a wonderful chill down my spine.
It was better than any feeling I'd had in a while.
It was always the best part of everything.
I dropped my cigarette to the ground now,
Stamping it under my boot to put it out,
Tightening my cloak around my body,
I disappeared into the rising sun.
YOU ARE READING
Specks in my eye
PoetryThis is a collection of my poetry from over the years. I have used it to cope with many things throughout my life. I like being able to put words to how I feel. Please be aware this will touch on sensitive topics seeing as it is a coping mechanism f...