Can someone kill me?
Save me the trouble?
If I do it myself,
The pain will be double.
Because then I'll be blamed,
"Weak, useless, cruel."
So let me use someone else,
Let them decide the tool.
Because then oh what they'll think,
"Poor soul, died so young."
Then they'll forgive me,
As I stay there hung.
I'm tired of being me.
I'm tired of hurting everyone.
I don't ever mean to,
Which is why it must be done.
I harmed the last one I loved.
I made them hurt without a clue.
I hope when I'm gone you know,
Your heart wasn't supposed to be blue.
It was always made of flowers,
Pink tulips I always presumed.
Your stomach of butterflies.
But of course I consumed,
Every butterfly, every tulip,
Every happy memory.
I know now I'm a sinking ship.
I want to bring back the flowers,
The happiness the love.
I'm scared however that the only way,
Is to send my soul far above.
Maybe your eyes will light up again.
Maybe it will all be fixed.
I want to make you happy,
My feelings are very mixed.
Will that make you happy again?
Or maybe you'll resent me more.
I just want to mend what I've broke,
And I mean that down to my core.
Can I ever make up for what I've done?
I'd do absolutely anything I could.
And if that means dying by my hand,
Maybe I honestly should.
I wish to hold you and kiss you,
Even if it's to say goodbye.
That's my last wish on this earth,
If in fact I do have to die.
YOU ARE READING
Specks in my eye
PoetryThis is a collection of my poetry from over the years. I have used it to cope with many things throughout my life. I like being able to put words to how I feel. Please be aware this will touch on sensitive topics seeing as it is a coping mechanism f...
