UNDER AGE || J.JK

Chapter 7: Bit By Bit.

Work was my excuse to walk out of her life even though I knew I had to stay around her for a long time for now, hell even a day felt like a century to me because this time I was supposed to be ignoring her presence to suppress my feelings down which wasn't an easy task. It was like fire on fire, days passing without her smile was pain, days passing without her words was pain, days passing without her gentle touch was pain and days passing without admiring her beautiful face was a deep scar that avoided to be taken care of, that wished to be infected by the creatures of wisdom and perhaps shame because according to my mind, what I was doing was right even though my heart knew it wasn't.

Attraction becomes a poison without even your realization, lightening up because the person who triggered that attraction isn't a human in your eyes, it's something that doesn't exist around the dust contained bodies like yourself. It's something created by gods but desired by them soon after, it's something that outshines any legendary nymph that would most probably enchant you with its beauty. That person becomes your definition of beauty, your definition of perfection and soon the reason behind your existence.

I push open the doors carefully, it was 1 am and everything laid down with the dark sky's and twinkling stars making me somehow envy those abiotic components for not having to deal with the emotions, the horrible burdening emotions that cracks through your heart and clenches it until you can't afford to supply your body with the minimum intake of that magical air our planet nourishes us with. “Oof” I sigh as I close the door shut and carefully walk inside to avoid any disturbance since the others must be sleeping expect Namjoon, he's been pulling multiple all nighters the whole week to complete his new thesis since he tends to get competitive when it comes to education.

“Y/n?” her figure stood still near the staircases as if she was waiting for someone from a very long time despite of being tired which was clear from her physical features, “You are late” she spoke. Oh how much I missed that honey laced voice, how much I missed her lavender touched smell that would dance through my mind when every night I hugged my pillow tight, imagining it to be her waist and us in the same field as we were a week ago.

“I'll get straight to the point, what happened? why are you ignoring me and avoiding me this way? you might think I don't notice but I do and it's hurting me” she shared her thoughts, being bold as always, I felt my body go numb when I heard the word hurt. Did me not being around her really affected her that much or was she feeling bad for me? Still a side of me was happy that my absence made her upset which might conclude that there's something unknown yet strong growing bit by bit.

“I don't know” I wasn't honest with her, I wasn't honest with myself either because if I was honest then I would have told her that I was feeling things that a person might feel once they find the right person around and I wanted to get to know her more but not as a friend, that word friend was now starting to hurt me bit by bit. If I was honest with myself then I would have accepted my feelings instead of letting other future hypothetical judgements taint my mind, her eyebrows furrow in response as if she was just left speechless by my dumb response. I don't blame her for that reaction.

“I'm feeling things I shouldn't be feeling, I'm ashamed of myself for that” she repeated my words from the day I apparently moved on, at least that's what my mind believed to calm itself down. “Attraction and age definitely are dependant onto each other but the dominant part in this whole story is played by us. If the person is mature then they shouldn't pay attention to what the society might or would say because they weren't by your side when you felt all the burdened emotions for being a human.

Being a human isn't a crime Jungkook, it's a beautiful combination of pain and pleasure that one must put up with and trust me it's short so fearing the rain when at the end you are the one who's going to take the pain to hold a roof on your heart. Rain is going to slip down either way, it's something that was here before us and will stay after us so it's better if you understand the difference in being a human and a puppet” Y/n continued her words.