7. What Makes a Family
Anakin found himself in a minor conundrum. Specifically the fact that his lovely, patient wife had instructed him to settle things between the droids because 3PO was having serious questions about why Anakin had brought in a second protocol droid...even if HK-47 was actually being used for such most of the time.
"Master, have I not been of excellent service? Am I being...replaced?" said 3PO nervously. Artoo made a questioning beep of his own.
Anakin sighed.
"I'm not replacing you," said Anakin.
"Query: Master, then why have you been ordering me to assist your wife in the Senate of late?"
"Because there have been far too many attempts on her life already and it gives you a better chance to shoot first when necessary," said Anakin bluntly. "That and to piss off the Supreme Chancellor and his cronies."
"Statement: You do love me master!" said HK.
Anakin turned to 3PO.
"3PO, you're part of this family. There's no way I'd abandon a droid that I built myself from scratch during the days I was a slave. You're a constant reminder of the good times I had with my mother," said Anakin flatly. "The same goes for you Artoo, you have been a constant part of my life for a long time."
"Query: Do I really have to listen to this sentimental drivel, master?"
"I'm getting to that," said Anakin. "HK, for now you're to guard my wife because she's a major target for assassins. Which means you get plenty of fun taking them out with maximum prejudice unless they have information on others. However, I have a distinct feeling things are about to go sideways in a bad way soon, which means we may have to go into hiding. When that happens, odds are the Jedi Council and their irritation with me will become a moot point. I have no intention of laying low forever."
Seeing he had HK-47's interest, Anakin grinned.
"Which is why I'm going to use my recently made contacts with the Mandalorians and become a bounty hunter. When that happens, you get full permission to kill any slavers unless I need to pump them for information. In which case you get to have fun making examples of their weaker friends."
"Overjoyed Statement: I cannot wait, master!" said HK enthusiastically.
"Now that's out of the way, what were the reactions the senate had to your 'colorful' translations?" asked Anakin eagerly.
HK-47 would have smirked if he had the ability.
"The weaker meatbags looked ready to cry in fear," said HK vindictively. "Though the pathetic example of a Jedi Council was more amusing."
"I bet. How 'happy' were they about the fact I put the lightsaber protocols back into your databank?"
"The darker human meatbag was particularly verbal when informed of the fact that you had reinstalled them, master. The small green meatbag seemed more amused than anything," said HK-47.
"How verbal?" asked Anakin.
"Statement: I have learned ten new swear words for my databanks, master."
Anakin cackled.

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Why Anakin is No Longer Allowed to Mentor
FanfictionShort one-shots regarding Anakin's terrible sense of humor. Or Why Anakin Doesn't Need to be a Sith to be Evil.