Why Anakin is No Longer Allowed to Mentor

2. Siths and Sabers

Anakin didn't know how it happened, but he wasn't exactly complaining. Namely the fact that he had been politely asked (read: roped in by guilt) by another knight to teach the younglings about how to use a lightsaber correctly. To make things worse, he was stuck with the teenagers who were just now discovering what hormones were.

The poor knight needed a break, as he hadn't had a vacation in five years. So Anakin agreed to teach the padawan candidates for a week.

Which was why Anakin took this prime opportunity to mess with the Padawans again, despite what happened last time. Yoda still hadn't dispelled those rumors and it always made Anakin silently cackle in dark amusement whenever he heard it brought up by the younglings.

For the most part, Anakin patiently taught the teenagers how to do the more complicated patterns of the more popular styles. And then, a day before the knight was to come back from his much needed vacation, Anakin's twisted sense of humor kicked in.

He had the padawans listening with rapt attention, mostly because they knew he was the source of the now-infamous Yoda rumor.

"Wait, you're saying that the reason the Sith use red lightsabers is because they accidentally cut off their...saber?" said one padawan, wide-eyed.

Anakin's poker face was sorely tested. Either way he was going to have fun with this.

"What about Master Windu? He has a purple lightsaber?" said one brave soul.

Anakin inwardly danced with glee. Time to get some unofficial payback against one of the Masters who hated him specifically.

"Yeah about that...you ever wonder why he's the only Jedi who is allowed to have a purple one?"

They all nodded, eager for juicy gossip.

"When he was younger, he tried to do a complicated set with his saber and forgot to put it on the stun settings. It was late and he was really tired at the time, so he didn't think too hard about it, only wanting to impress the masters. And you all know how the lightsabers cauterize wounds right?" said Anakin. They all nodded dutifully. "Well that night he tripped, and well..."

Seeing the teen boys cringe was absolutely HILARIOUS.

"What does that have to do with the color though?" one finally asked.

"Well they got to him in time, and managed to give him a 'replacement' of sorts, but the damage was done. However one of the requirements of being a Sith is that you no longer need 'that' saber...so it's cut off."

Seeing their wide-eyed and horrified expressions was pure gold. Anakin was on a roll, so he went with it.

"As a side effect of being 'unmanned', any lightsaber Master Windu uses and channels the Force on will start to turn red. But because he's still a Jedi thanks to the replacement, it only stops halfway. Which is why he always uses a blue lightsaber...it turns purple as a side effect. They tried with green, but the color was too embarrassing," said Anakin earnestly.

Seeing the looks on their faces, Anakin knew this particular rumor would go the way the Yoda one had...only much faster since the Padawans learned that the masters wouldn't yell at them for idle gossip. Besides, it was likely that the Masters would perpetuate the lie about the Sith because it served the purpose of keeping the padawans from ever considering it as an option if it meant becoming eunuchs.

"On an unrelated note, there's a reason Obi-Wan is often dragged into state rooms alone, especially if there's a female involved."

"Really?" said another padawan, eager for more gossip.

"Obi-Wan is considered an unofficial sex god among the female senators. His smooth talking lets him into all sorts of places...it's why he hides in the temple so often, to get some reprieve from that sort of relations," said Anakin.

Later that night...

Obi-wan had a mixture of annoyed and amused look on his face.

"Anakin...what did we tell you about teaching the padawans?"

"They said I wasn't allowed to teach the younglings anymore. But you said nothing about the proto-Padawans waiting for a Master to be freed up to train them," recited Anakin dutifully.

"What exactly did you tell the padawans that had them looking at Master Windu with sympathy and me with such awe?" asked Obi-Wan bluntly.

"I told them that one the requirements to become a Sith was to have their 'flesh' saber removed to free up the darker side of the force. And that due to an accident Master Windy almost lost his but they managed to get him a replacement in time...but as a side effect he accidentally turns any lightsaber he gets his hands on purple," said Anakin, trying to keep a straight face.

"Uh-huh. And what, exactly, did you tell them about me?"

"The reason you hide in the temple is because you're so good at sweet talking the female senators that you keep ending up in bed with them," replied Anakin without hesitation. "In short I made you out to be an unofficial sex god of sorts."

Obi-Wan was already face-palming.

"Anakin, you're as close to a brother to me."

"I'm sensing a but."

"But you're a horrible person," said Obi-Wan flatly.

Anakin snorted at that.

"On an unrelated note, the Knight you subbed for was delighted at the sudden attentiveness to safety and their skills. And the Masters are seriously considering using the lie you came up with for becoming a Sith and continuing it," said Obi-Wan.

Anakin straight up cackled at that.