Request summary: Nat comforts little y/n who is having a bad dysphoria day
I stared in the mirror pointing out every small detail about myself that I hated. My hips were too wide giving me a curvy figure, my chest being the most obvious problem I face whilst staring at what is supposed to be my reflection. It felt strange to see something that appeared to be me in the way it copied my movement but not how it copied how I was on the inside.
It physically hurt to see myself this way a constant reminder of the way people saw me in that I would never look how I felt. I didn't have the right body shape or the right voice to be considered masculine in the way I hoped. I just wished there was some way could close my eyes and things would be different or maybe if I stared long enough something would somehow change.
When nothing like that happened I got angry, at myself at the world at whatever put me into this body that clearly wasn't my own. Why couldn't I be who I wanted? Why couldn't I walk down the street without wondering if people noticed my binder or somehow saw inside my mind and knew I wasn't cisgender. The anger soon turned to sadness when I could no longer bear to look at myself. I hid under my blankets sobbing into my pillow hoping it would go away. I hated the way I looked and I knew that probably wasn't going to change any time soon.
I heard a knock on my door but I stayed under my blankets not wanting anyone to see me. "Hey babe, you alright?" I heard the door open then Natasha's footsteps come closer. "Hey whats going on bud?" The redhead sat down next to me, I soon felt her rubbing my arm. I didn't want to speak because I couldn't hear that voice again.
"I think my baby needs some snuggles." I saw light come in from behind me showing she had lifted the blanket. I thought she was going to hug me which I didn't really want but she just placed my teddy bear in my arms. "Do you want me to give you some time?" I nodded feeling her stroke my head. "Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes." She whispered before leaving.
Half an hour later she peeked her head round. "Do you want to talk yet?" I lifted off the blanket and reached out for her with red eyes and tears marks all down my cheeks. "Aw baby." She came over and pulled me into her lap. "Whats wrong?" I pointed to the mirror with a frown. "Are we having a bad dysphoria day?" She asked making me nod.
"Can you talk me through what you're feeling?" I sighed. "No wan to my voice bad." Nat just looked at me. "Is to high." I mumbled. "Buddy you're still a boy no matter how your voice sounds everyone has different voices. And your voice definitely doesn't not sound like it's a girls voice it's my baby boy's voice and it's the best sound I've ever heard. I know some days are going to be hard for you and I might not understand how you feel but I promise you will always be a boy no matter what you look or sound like and I will always be here for my baby." She held me for a few minutes just whispering comforting words in my ear. "You are my strong little boy and I love you so much." I smiled curling up in her lap.
"I love you mommy." Nat smiled back at me. "I love you more buddy."
I apologise this one was shorter.
