Secrets [Trans Jake AU, Juke Fanfic]

~ Chapter 14 ~ Finale ~

Tuesday

"Do you like me?" 

The sentence rolled off Jake's tongue quicker than he wished. It flooded Luke's ears like a tidal wave crashing against a row of rocks sitting on a warm beach. All he could do was stare, no words bubbled up in his throat. His heart became a race car in the final moments of a race with only one single lap to go. One car ahead, the driver would slam their foot onto the gas peddle, the engine stirring up and growling like a wolf ready to jump on it's prey. The car zoomed, the speed gauge slowly moving higher and higher as the wheels began to burn. The vehicle shook and purred but the driver kept going, desperate as the checkered flag creeped closer. The car stuck to the back of the other, like two June bugs on a summer night. The speed flew, faster and faster and faster. 

He looked over Jake's features; he was awaiting an answer that the other was fearful to spit out. What should he even say? Should he lie...? Maybe wait it out? He drew a blank, with no idea of what to do to get himself out of this. He was horrified. This could ruin their whole relationship. What if Jake feels uncomfortable with the idea of Luke liking him? After only a few moments of processing, Luke finally inhaled deeply and slowly began to speak.

"Of course I like you. You're one of my best friends." He dodged the question like a speeding bullet.

"You know what I mean, Luke," Jake sighed, turning away. He did know, obviously, he just didn't want to risk ruining their bond if Jake didn't feel the same way he did. Luke scratched the back of his neck, his mind yelling at him to lie and say no, incase Jake didn't reciprocate his feelings. It was unlikely. Countering his mind, his heart was begging him to tell the truth, pleading. The small nagging thought of Jake accepting his feelings was pounding at the back of his skull. His head and chest were throbbing as they fought back and fourth inside him, like an RGB battle that was never ending, both sides with the same attack power and defense, yet they still seemed to both win and lose at the same time. It felt like his chest would burst open like a soda can. 

Luke took another breath. He didn't say anything. He didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to ruin this, what they had. The two boys became so close over just a couple weeks, and now this? What was he to do? Luke wanted so badly to just run away, run away from this torturing query and come back tomorrow with everything back to normal. To wake from this horrid nightmare. All he wanted was for Jake to love him, but what are the chances of that? But, alas, none of his wishes ever came true. He was tied down by the painful chain of reality that tore at his neck and wrists. 

Building up the strength of a million men, he finally let his Achille's heel show. "Okay... you win," he slowly uttered out. "I... I do like you... and- and I'm sorry if this ruins or hurts our friendship in any way. If you're not comfortable with the idea, I'll give you time to let it go, and besides I'm sure it's only a crush it'll probably brush over soon." He spoke slowly, hanging on every word, careful not to say the wrong thing. A haunting silence fell over the two. Jake didn't look at Luke, or even make a sound, he kept his eyes on the ground. He was as quiet as a void. Luke kept his glance on the blond, however. Scanning every inch of him.

He was worried. What was he thinking? Had he said too much? Should he have just kept quiet? His own mind was already a hurricane, with now a new idea being thrown into the mix like cake batter being beaten in a bowl. His lemon eyes glistened as he felt the cold, uncomfortable, hands of regret crawling up his spine and squeezing his throat until his head burst like a balloon with too much air inside. 

"Just a crush, huh?" Jake finally said. He was quiet, low, and almost sorrowful toned, but Luke heard him loud and clear. His heart ached hearing that tone from his usual cheerful and happy voice. "W-well, I think so, but- y'know, I don't know for sure. I'm not an expert in love or anything." Luke hastily said, his left leg bouncing up and down like a pogo-stick. He could basically hear his heart pounding in his eardrums. Thump-thump, it went. Thump-thump.