A shiver rolls down my spine as his ruby red eyes meet my own. I feel my shoulders release tension I've been holding onto for so long and let out a sigh of relief.
His hand is cold and fragile on mine. I smile slightly to give him a least a bit of reassurance. I'm not mad, not disappointed. Just sad. Sad that this is how everything has turned out and sad because I'm standing in a hospital, holding onto the person I love the most for dear life. Hoping they'll make it.
Cords, wires and needles are attached to many different parts of his body with two monitors on each side of his bed. All I know is one is for the heart, so we know he's still living.
The thought of even touching a dead body leaves an extremely uncomfortable and unsettling feeling in my stomach and I squirm at the thought.
A ray of sunlight beams across Eijiro's face. He's wearing a blue hospital robe with an oxygen mask across his mouth. But a pained feeling shoots through me.
He's still so pale. No one yet knows if he'll make it yet. But at least he's awake.
His eyes lock with mine and I give his hand a gentle squeeze.
~
The shadow seems bigger tonight. The thought of dis-attachment seems to flow further and further away by the day. I couldn't let go if I tried.
I run to my dorm and slam the door behind me, making myself flinch at the loud sound now echoing through my room. I hop to the corner of my room, my back squished against the wall and my arm squished into the other.
I stand in fear.
Starting to hyperventilate, I feel as if I can't get enough air to my lungs. My body shakes and rocks and I slide to the floor.
My room is dark. I hate the dark. What lies in the dark I cannot see and what I can't see scares me. What I can't see I can't do anything about if I don't know it's there.
Why now? This should be a time of gratefulness or gratitude. Eijiro's awake and it's one step in the right direction.
But a step forward can so easily be replaced with a step backwards.
I shouldn't get my hopes up just to be crashed back down. If I think he'll survive, if he doesn't it'll only make things worse for me. For everyone around me.
But I can't just give up. I don't give up. That's not like me...right?
I decide to leave the unsettling serenity of my room and get some water. I catch myself acting so alert, as if at any second something will come along and pounce.
As quietly as possible I walk down the stairs in an attempt to not scare myself more. I hate anxiety.
"Hey bakugou, did you eat dinner today?" I hear Jirou ask.
"...no," I mumble and open the cupboard to receive a glass of water.
"...are you doing ok?"
Stop asking me that. Why does everyone ask me that. I don't want your pity. I'm not just some pity case.
"I'm fine," I state, acting in a rush to go back to my room.
I grab my glass of water and quickly chug it before putting the glass in the dishwasher and turning it on.
"Are you coming to school tomorrow?" Jirou questions.
That's right. I've been missing a lot of school. I just haven't feel right lately.
If I don't visit Eijiro everyday I won't know if he's doing better until the next day. That's too much anticipation for me to handle right now.
"Not sure. Depends how I sleep," I answer before making my way back to my dorm room.
I find myself laying on the floor, staring up to the ceiling. It's surprisingly more comfortable.
The only downsides are I couldn't fall asleep on the floor, since I already struggle to fall asleep on my bed. As well as, being paranoid. I'm on low ground and everything underneath my bed is directly to my right. I cant keep my back turned.
My eyes are heavy, begging for sleep but every time i close my eyes my brain convinces me to open them back up again. As soon as I think I'm almost asleep by body jolts back awake, like the feeling of falling in a dream over and over again.
Sleep is only just manageable for me.
Manageable enough that after about an hour or so of trying, multiple anxiety attacks, overthinking, bolts of panic and the run to turn on the lights to take a breath of relief I finally manage to get to sleep.
Through all of that I still somehow manage to get around 6 hours. But I still wake up tired.
What is life?
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Hope you enjoyed <33
This chapter is somewhat relatable.
Word Count: 822
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Broken | Kiribaku | Angst
Fanfiction"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in the present grief." Bakugou struggles to overcome the tragedy of losing the one person he loves the most. Will Kirishima be ok? Or will it be too late for the both of them. Started: 15/4/22 Ended:...
