...chapters of my life... musings of my mind...: David Morgan was fourteen years old, when his parents got killed in front of him. He's trying to live on... He's trying to forget... But these nightmares are always there. Why did his parents got kill...
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It wasn't long, and then my fifteenth birthday passed without us ever thinking about it.
After about a month my aunt suggested that I should see a therapist. I didn't want to, but I did it anyway. Kathy thought it might help me talk about the incident. But it didn't. In fact, I believe I spoke thirty-seven fucking words the entire summer. Including therapy.
The one thing I noticed early on about therapists: they don't suggest shit. They don't give you advice on how to handle your life or how to live on. They don't have the solution on how to deal with living the rest of your life without your parents. They don't know what it's like to be fifteen years old and probably have 25.000 fucking days ahead of you on this earth and know that you will never spend another day with your parents. They can't change the fact that my mother and father will never see another day on this earth again. Not in one hundred years, not in one thousand years. They just sit there and ask questions, trying to get you to talk. Well, I didn't.
I wanted to say, hey, I'm fifteen years-old, my parents got killed right in front of me: what do I do now? Help me! But I didn't say that. And I don't think she could have helped me.
I went to the damn shrink twice a week and just sat there. I think during the third session my therapist suggested that I should keep a journal and write down my feelings.
Great. Now I had to write a fucking diary. I told her I would think about it. She actually handed me a notebook right away. So I took it and went home.
Back in my room I kept looking at the first page of the notebook. I didn't know what to write. It was about a week later that I actually wrote the first few words.
But I thought about, instead of just writing stuff down, I tried to write rhymes or little poems. I didn't write down anything random, corny, fortune-cookie-like bullshit like "today is the first day of the rest of your life".
I wrote down passages I read about, or heard about. I wrote down quotes from movies or songs. Sometimes I just wrote down a few words that came to my mind. I thought that way it would be a little more artistic and a little less girlish.
I actually wrote stuff about how I felt in certain moments of my life. I wrote in every direction, criss-cross, whatever came to my mind.
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