...chapters of my life... musings of my mind...: David Morgan was fourteen years old, when his parents got killed in front of him. He's trying to live on... He's trying to forget... But these nightmares are always there. Why did his parents got kill...
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Two days after my fight in the ally, I realized that I couldn't lift my left arm anymore. I could lift it up to my shoulder, but higher than that, was impossible. It hurt too much. It felt like I had pinched a nerve or something.
My head, my eye and my lip were pretty much okay, but besides the problem with my shoulder, my ribs were still hurting a lot, if I moved around too much.
But the pain wasn't the only thing that happened with me that night: from that night on, I didn't trust anyone I saw on the streets anymore.
Being attacked by those two assholes changed me. Because every time someone walked by me on the street, I watched them out of the corner of my eye, to make sure they continued walking and they wouldn't attack me from behind.
And also, when I saw someone approaching me, I tried to see if they carried any weapons. I closed my fingers every time someone walked by me, to make a fist, to be prepared. I didn't trust anyone anymore.
When I got on the subway at night, I didn't really care about the other passengers before. I used to sit wherever. But after my fight in the ally, I always chose a seat in the back of the train, so I could see everybody who was riding in the train with me. I chose a seat where nobody could sit behind me. And I always thought about possible escape routes. When I was sitting in a subway train at night, with just two other people in the subway car, I thought:
What if some asshole tries to attack me?
I thought: jumping over the seats in front of me would probably be the best way to escape a fight and get to the door.
Wherever I was, I tried to survey the entire surrounding area. I started watching people pretty closely.
I also bought a punching bag and hung it up in my living room. On the one hand I tried to learn how to throw a punch and on the other hand, punching that thing helped me to handle my aggressions, which were getting stronger and stronger with each day.
Of course, Amber didn't like it. We were officially dating since we slept together. She worked at a grocery store, so we only saw each other in the evening. I liked it, because I had the entire day to work out, run, box and drink.
When I was working out, I didn't feel the pain in my chest all that much; afterwards the alcohol helped me to numb the pain for the rest of the day; and in the evening the sex did the job.
So, the longer the sex lasted, the longer I felt okay.
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