life. death. vengeance. baby.

eleven. a decision.

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After the summer with Tina and Lea ended, I had to find something that would keep me busy, so the bad thoughts wouldn't take control. But soon I realized that there wasn't much to do in the small town I lived in, the last couple of years.

It wasn't a decision I took over night, but at some point, I knew I had to do it: I had to get back home. Back to the city I grew up in.

The only problem was, now I had to tell Aunt Kathy. And I didn't want to disappoint her. She really helped me a lot after the incident. I had to just get it over with, although, I didn't really know how to start.

So, one Saturday afternoon when Kathy was working in the kitchen, I decided it was time to tell her.

"Hey, Aunt Kathy, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, what's up?"

We sat down on the couch at the coffee table. I sat down next to her. There was a short silence where nobody said anything, but then I went on: "Look, I decided, I have to move back to the city."

Kathy was stunned. She didn't say anything, but I kept going so she couldn't interrupt me.

"I can't even express how much you helped me after everything that happened, but I think it's time. I miss my friends and everything..."

I did miss my friends. I had a few very good ones back home. And I needed to get back home. Because where I was now, I didn't want to make new friends. And besides working out, school, and the small affairs, there just wasn't enough to do.

"Of course, I will finish the school year here, and afterwards I will go back home."

I thought now was a good time to let Aunt Kathy respond to the facts she just heard.

"So... what? You're just gonna live in that big house all by yourself?"

"No. I already talked to a friend. I'm going to stay at his place."

Actually, I had started to get in touch with my old friend Marcus, the weeks before I told Kathy, and of course, I told him about me coming home, but I never asked him if I could sleep over.

But my answer had the effect on Aunt Kathy I hoped for. Her face got a little less tense.

"Look, I think it's a good thing that you at least wanna finish school, but I'm not sure it's the right thing for you to do... to go back there."

"I know. It will be difficult. I realize that. But I have to do it."

In fact, I really wasn't looking forward to seeing our house again. I was afraid of all the memories. But like I said, I had the feeling I had grown up, I had gotten stronger and tougher and if I wanted to get better, get well and move on, I had to do it back home.

"Well, I knew you would probably, eventually wanna move back to the city, I just didn't expect it to happen this soon. Don't you wanna at least stay here for another couple of years? Think about it again?"

"Look, I already thought good and hard about it. Besides, Mr. Peterson called me a week ago. You know... Dad's lawyer..."

"What did he want?"

"Well... something about my parent's will. And given the fact that I will turn eighteen in June, he needs to see me. So, I decided, as my birthday is a week after the end of school, I will finish the year and go back home afterwards. We already set a date for the meeting in the week after the end of school."

Kathy sighed.

"It looks like you have already planned everything."

"Well, it kind of got planned for me. The call from Mr. Peterson led to my decision."

The call from the lawyer actually was pretty weird. I didn't expect to get a call from him. I actually didn't even think about my dad's money, but it looked like, on my eighteenth birthday some of it, or maybe all of it, would be mine. He didn't give me any specifics, and I didn't lie awake thinking about it. I lay awake thinking about other stuff. There was no room to think about something superficial like money.

"So, you really think you can live by yourself?"

"Like I told you, Aunt Kathy, I will be staying at a friend's house. It will be fine."

I thought I would probably have to give Kathy Marcus' phone number. She would probably want to confirm that I was in fact living there. I had to talk to Marcus and arrange some things. I knew if Kathy knew I was going to live by myself, she wouldn't let me go. Well, I would be eighteen, so there was really nothing she could do, but I didn't want to upset her.

Anyway, now that Aunt Kathy was on board, it was time for me to mentally prepare for my homecoming.

The next months went by faster than usual. I went to school in the morning, did my workout in the afternoon and tried to help Kathy as much as possible with whatever she needed. I tried to spend as much time with her as possible, to show her how thankful I am for what she did for me.

Occasionally Tina called me and came by. She didn't tell Lea about it. We didn't spend much time together, we just had sex. That was fine with me. Even though I liked Lea better, the sex was better with Tina. She was more open about it. So, I didn't mind that she called me from time to time when she was in the mood to get laid.

And then, one day on the phone, I told her that I would leave. I didn't say goodbye to Kristen, Lea or Meg. I never cared about Kristen. Tina told Lea that I was leaving. And it would have been too hard for me to say goodbye to Meg. Besides Aunt Kathy, she was the only one I cared about in that small town. I had to focus on the big city.