The Fear of Loneliness (Fear Series Book 1)

Chapter 20: Fleeing (unedited)

It's quiet in the base, without Leonidas and Cecil. The wind, whipped up from an approaching storm, howls against the fort, booming with the force it hits. And yet the world is quiet, soldiers huddled in buildings to get away from the weather, and no one being brave enough to approach the one remaining twin.

Ruhban, leaning on the wall of the barracks hallway watches with detached interest as soldiers file past, the snow beginning to pile up on their cloaks. None of them bother to greet him, instead casting him glances of something close to pity.

A part of the boy bristles at it, not needing nor wanting their pity. And yet a smaller part of him enjoys the sympathy of his fellow humans. He sure isn't getting any from Cecil, and Leo is now off galavanting with a dragon.

Regardless, the storm has stalled his initiative. The youngest twin's plan was to remove himself from the fort as soon as possible, just in case Cecil decides to turn around and come back for him. However, the more he thinks about it, the less he wants to leave. Sure, Leonidas warned him, but his own mind still believes the High King to be in the right. The dragons have been launching a vicious assault on their species since day one, killing hundreds of thousands of people over the years. Why should Ruhban suddenly decide to flip sides like his twin and decide everything they fight for is wrong? That they should lay down their arms and skip off into the sunset arm-in-arm with the beasts?

It's an absurd notion. And yet, there is the nagging fear in the back of Ruhban's mind. An irrational, unrelenting terror that has driven him this far. There's more than enough evidence to prove that Cecil provides a direct threat to Ruhban's wellbeing. That doesn't necessarily mean that the twin is going to bolt off into the forest like his tail's on fire. There are serious ramifications to deserting.

As the boy stands in the hall, watching the other soldiers go about their business, the hair on the back of his arms raises, goosebumps erupting over his body. It's as if there is an angry, unseen presence hovering over his back, cold claws sinking into his shoulders.

Staying isn't safe. It's obvious. The pack at his feet is testament to that.

Yet he doesn't want to leave. He doesn't want to brave the wilderness, he doesn't want to be alone, and he doesn't want to be outcasted from the rest of his country. Despite the Encair... which is a tiny, soon to be wiped out minority of the population.

Once again, goosebumps erupt across the boy's skin and he shivers, pushing himself up off the wall. Grabbing the pack at his feet and lazily slinging it over one shoulder, Ruhban shoves the door open and stalks out into the snowy, silent courtyard. Those cold claws of dread slide down his spine, as he raises his eyes to the dark clouds above him, the hair on his neck standing on end.

It's as if some unknown creature is staring back at him through those clouds, dark eyes hidden behind the clouds, ready to pounce.

I'm not safe here, a little voice whispers in the back of his mind.

Ruhban blinks, and lets his gaze travel around the fort. There is nothing out of the ordinary. Just the silence that comes with the storm, and the soft pit-pat of snow landing in standing puddles of previously melted flakes.

Don't be ridiculous, this fort is safe, his rationality replies.

A shiver wracks the boy's body, and suddenly the blood is rushing in his ears, his heartbeat deafeningly loud. Adrenaline rocks through the boy's body, and suddenly the shivers are uncontrollable.

Run, that little voice whispers again, and soft claws prick his shoulders. Run. Now. Run!

Protests drowned by an inexplicable flight or fight response, Ruhban turns for the guard house, trying to spin out from under the gaze of whatever fear is laying on his heart.