I Need Your Warmth (Original, English Version)

Chapter 14 - Clara Regan

I was lost as to how I got home that day.

I remembered my father's wife calling me, instructing me to bring clothes to Cindy at a hotel. I rolled my eyes at that, knowing they have enough helpers at home to do that errand. She nagged at me until I said fine. Only when I got to the hotel did I realize the real reason why.

I remember seeing Cindy naked and wondering why she would be naked. There ought to be bathrobes in hotels. I handed the paper bag to her and that's when I saw Allen. He's dressed but he looked disheveled. His hair is untidy. I can't begin to describe what I felt in that moment.

I was confused. Why would Allen be in the same room as Cindy? When I heard Cindy say that they spent the night together, I caught my breath. They couldn't have. I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I felt my eyes becoming warm.

When I stared at Allen, he's not keen to say anything. What happened after he pulled me out of the room? I frowned. My head aches from all the crying I did as soon as I get home. I propped my head on my hands. I'm glad he pulled me out of the room. I couldn't stand looking at Cindy's gloating face. But at the same time, I don't want to be with him. If what Cindy said is true... but is it the truth? I closed my eyes as I think hard. They don't know each other. How would Allen end up sleeping with her? How could anything happen between them? These are all the questions I have swirling in my head. I plopped back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Looking back on this morning... I really couldn't face him. I wouldn't have been able to talk to him when I'm feeling hurt. He has answers, though, but am I prepared to hear them from him? What would he say? Did something actually happen between them?

I groaned as I covered my face with a pillow. I turned my phone off immediately when I got home. I didn't even send a notice at work. I've gone AWOL. I sighed. What should I do?

I felt both relieved and sad by the fact that Allen didn't come to see me today. Relieved because I don't think I can face him. Even now. Sad, because I thought he would want to explain himself and tell me nothing happened.

I am afraid. Afraid to know if he betrayed me. I sighed. If I try to be rational about it, he knows how much I hate Cindy. Cindy's not his type at all. But the question remains, how did they end up spending a night together? He didn't refute that when Cindy said it. He only stated that I shouldn't misunderstand. I held unto that, focused on that statement instead. He doesn't want me to misunderstand the situation.

I closed my eyes, groaned again in frustration. I wonder if I could go to work tomorrow? I could easily say that I was sick and that I didn't have the energy to get out of bed. I pursed my lips. Such a bad liar. I could've sent a message, at least. Most people know I live alone. How could I not manage sending a message?

Maybe I still have time. I decided to open my phone so I can send a message at work. Maybe I could take a few days of leave. I chuckled, thinking how this could be considered a sickness. My heart is aching. I sighed. I ignored the stream of missed calls and messages that came in and focused on sending a message to my direct head and Axel. I pursed my lips as I stared at his name. He is Allen's brother. Do they talk about personal things?

My phone rang and I frowned as I saw my father's name. I looked up as I debated whether I should answer. It's always bad news when I answer their calls. If I hadn't answered that call early this morning...

I swiped accept without acknowledging the caller. I never talk to them willingly. I never say anything when they speak. As my father's wife said, I had no right to. I can only listen to them. The few times I answered back when I was younger, I get scolded for hours. Sometimes I get hit, too.

"Cindy told me what happened." He stated and I couldn't place his tone. He usually speaks calmly when he calls me. Right now, he sounds a bit angry. I rolled my eyes, wondering what Cindy could have told him. I didn't speak.

"Break up with him. He has to take responsibility for Cindy." His order infuriates me. I still haven't checked the facts, alright? I bet he takes Cindy's statements seriously.

"I'm not going to tell you twice. You're better off without him." Who is he to say that? What does he know to say what's better for me?

"You don't actually see me as your daughter, do you?" I couldn't hold it in any longer. I know I'm a bastard but I would much prefer it if he tossed me away, instead of keeping me but treating me like this. He always favors his legitimate children.

"Nonsense." He dismisses, "I'm introducing you to someone else. Come home next weekend. You have to help with your sister's wedding, too."

I opened my mouth in disbelief. Sister's wedding? "Who's getting married?"

He couldn't possibly be talking about Cindy, right? She's my only half-sister, or does he have another bastard? I almost chuckled at the thought.

"Cindy, of course." He replied and I tried to calm myself down.

Instead, I hissed, "You do realize he's my boyfriend? You want me to break up with him? And you want to marry him off to Cindy?" I haven't heard anything so incredulous in my life.

"Your sister could be pregnant. Of course, he has to take responsibility."

I closed my eyes to try to reign in my despair and anger. Did they really sleep together?

"I'll see you on Saturday." He was about to end the call but I didn't let him.

"Even if that's your brilliant plan, do you have to rub it in my face? Why do I have to be there?" I may have sounded a little insane.

"Your sister wants you to be her maid of honor." I laughed at his statement.

"You actually believe that? Whatever Cindy wants, Cindy gets, isn't it? How about me? Have you even considered my feelings? I'm not sure if he will actually marry Cindy, but let's say he does... why do I have to witness the wedding? Aren't you concerned I might disrupt the wedding and steal the groom?" I asked sarcastically, despite the tears in my eyes. I'm not sure what I'm more pained about: Allen's supposed betrayal or my father's utter disregard for me.

"Tell me, have you ever treated me as your own daughter? You've never even acknowledged me properly. Don't I deserve to get what I want, too?" I asked pleadingly. I realized I could no longer deceive myself. I have to get answers, starting from him.

But he wouldn't give me a direct answer. A true politician, if I say so myself. Trying to say all this nonsense, not addressing the issue presented, but trying to sound knowledgeable and full of wisdom. Well, you can't fool me. I might have to give up. I don't need his financial support. I can support myself. I have to cut all ties from them.

For the remainder of the night, I cried again. I had to reject the several calls coming from Cindy and her mother. They didn't let me off, though. They continued early in the morning. I answered, grudgingly.

Cindy only gloated about her supposed marriage to Allen. I tuned her out as I prepared breakfast. I'm starving, not having eaten anything properly the previous day. She ended the call by herself.

Then, her mother did the same. I know Cindy learned from her.

They rattled me. I would admit that. The thought of Allen marrying someone else, worst of all Cindy... it breaks my heart. I love him. And I'm losing him like this. I'm losing him to my own sister. An evil sister, I smiled as I added that in my statement.

I've gone mad. I chuckled about my pitiful situation as I cried.

I have decided to take the whole week off and go back to work on Monday. I'm getting a new number. I'm so done with everyone.