I Need Your Warmth (Original, English Version)

Chapter 12 - Clara Regan

It was that time of the year again. My father has been requesting me to attend his birthday banquet. Given my status, the situation has never been favorable to me.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Allen among the guests. He can't be here.

I didn't think he would get invited here. I didn't think there'd be a connection between him and my father. I knew they couldn't have a close relationship. Him being here could simply be a common courtesy of extending invitation to important people.

I already talked to my father earlier, handing him my gift, and talking a bit about my current work. But that's only how far he can go. He would never show actual support and he would never protect me against his wife and children. He always turns a blind eye when they bully me and when they talk trash about my mother.

My childhood friend, Rico, was defending me against my father's legitimate family. But I guess that only served to infuriate them. They can never accept me. Though it's dirty laundry that should never be publicized, majority of the attendees know the secret anyway.

I saw Allen from the crowd. I never wanted him to know about this. As my stepmother rants about my uselessness and continued absence, being unhelpful, ungrateful for refusing to be their technical slave, some people are inching closer to listen.

I just wanted to get away.

Allen stepped next to me and held my hand. I didn't dare to meet his eyes.

Their rants faltered.

"You might not be aware, Allen, but this girl is a bastard. Her mother is a whore." Cindy just had to repeat it. Since I was young, I've lost count how many times they used that line to destroy me.

"Then, I guess we're perfect for each other for I'm also a bastard, and my mom was a whore." I didn't expect him to say that. I looked up to see his face.

He tugged me forward and we walked out of the hotel together. We found his car and he guided me inside. When he sat down, he didn't drive immediately. He turned to look at me.

"Are you okay?" He asked, reaching out to hold my hand again.

I nodded. They always get to me. I knew I shouldn't have come. Although father had never protected me, he has never been unkind. Or so I thought. Financially, he gave me the support, but that was the extent of it. Still, I'm grateful for it. So, when he requested that I attend his birthday party, I relented. I expected as much to happen, though I was hoping I could slip away unnoticed. They probably kept an eye on me so I wouldn't be able to escape without being subjected to humiliation. They always do.

Allen leaned over to press a kiss on my forehead.

"You can cry." He stated softly but I shook my head. I won't cry. I promised I won't.

I heard him sigh and he started driving. When we arrived at my apartment, I asked him to stay. I have some loose shirts that would fit him. After washing up, he held me gently on the bed.

He didn't say anything anymore. He peppered kisses on my face and his gentle actions tugged at my heart. Why can't everyone be as kind as him? Why can't people be as considerate as him? Slowly, I found myself crying on his chest. He only caressed my body to soothe me, not saying a word. I may have fallen asleep as I cried. When I came to a while later, he's still awake, though, caressing my hair.

I turned to look at his face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently.

"Good."

"Want to talk about it?" He asked as his hand moved from my hair to my arm.

"Should I?" I asked, not really comfortable talking about those things to anyone.

"Try?" He encouraged. He shifted so he's leaning back on the headboard, while my head is on his lap. I took his hand and put it on my hair. I took his other hand to play with it, holding onto it as my lifeline.

"What you said last night, is that true or did you just say it for my benefit?"

He paused for a second. "With three older half-siblings, what do you think?"

"Sorry. I forgot." I replied awkwardly. "They treat you well, though, don't they?" I think the reason I forget is because they aren't as bad as how my father's family treats me.

"They're my family. I think it's the upside of losing our parents early on. We aren't resentful of each other."

"How do you feel about your mom?" I appreciate that he's willing to talk about himself, too.

"My mom? I was really young when she died. I'm thankful to her for giving birth to me. I don't really have any memories of her."

"When you learned about your half-siblings, what did you think of her?"

"That time? When Lee came to get me, I didn't understand the implications at all. I was just happy to have someone who cares about me."

We went silent after that. His situation was really different than mine.

"My mom worked for my father. She knew he was married, with a wife and two children. She left me with him when I was just a baby. I was raised separately as his wife can't stand seeing me. She would come to see me every now and then, though, just to spite me. I think it's her way of hurting me and easing her own pain. I hated my mom for leaving me with them."

He moved his hand to wipe my tears and I chuckled, staring at him.

"When I was old enough, I asked my father to let me leave. He supported me financially and that's the extent he's willing to help me."

"How often do you see them after you left?" He asked.

"Only when my father asked me to. Normally, it's on his birthdays. He invites me during holidays, too, but I don't go."

"I see. Do you resent your father?" Tough question.

"In a way. I don't mind meeting him and talking to him, but whenever he insists that I attend his birthday, I knew he knew that his wife and children would treat me badly. I don't believe for a second that he doesn't know how much humiliation they subject me to." I explained slowly.

"And your mom?"

"My father told me who she is, but I've never seen her in person. I don't want to see her, anyway. I'm fine by myself like this. It's much more peaceful."

Suddenly, he leaned down to press a kiss on my lips.

"You're not alone."

"I know." I smiled at him.

"When you attend his birthday in the future, make sure you bring me along. If you really don't want to see them, then don't go."

"Okay." I replied, appreciating his care. I wonder if we'll be together for a long time?

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?"

"Hmmm?"

"I can cook something."

I chuckled at his statement. I stood up.

"What can you cook?" I asked.

He followed me to the kitchen and he surveyed the contents of my cabinets and fridge.