Our Lovely Nights (Original, English Version)

Chapter 4 - Cara Taylor

I'm not sure why I did what I did. Maybe I wanted a connection. It's too much to hope that I'll see him again by chance. The following days after that, I find myself reliving those moments at night. Whenever I visit clubs and bars, I would be in search for him. No other man managed to get my attention. I sighed. I'm screwed. I stare at his number on my phone, not having the courage to use it. Every night I would go to sleep staring at his number.

I don't normally associate myself with my family. My parents and my brothers all went into business, which I have no affinity for. I hate thinking over so many complications. So, in the end, I chose to be a teacher. Nothing complicated, I chose to teach in preschool where I won't need too much store of knowledge. Just the basic stuff of reading, writing and simple arithmetic. The kids are always a handful, though. You need a truck load of patience to deal with them. Fortunately, that's exactly what I have.

It took me a while to actually create an identity separate from my family. When I was younger, I would always be tagged as the daughter of the Taylors. When my brothers became successful in their respective companies, I became known as their sister. It took a while to get away from all that. These days when I introduce myself and someone asks if I'm related to them, I manage to lie with a straight face and without a tinge of guilt. I don't hate them. It's just that, it's too much to explain why I didn't follow in their footsteps. I love them dearly. They do support my decision and they tell me to do whatever I want and that they have my back. Of course, they can say that. I don't feel comfortable asking them for anything, though. But it has been their tradition during holidays to gift me with something, most of the time it's money. I'm not sure if they agreed to it or they merely have the same thought. Initially, I was hesitant to accept them. I mean, I'm an adult myself. Why do they gift me with money when I only gift them with something not as valuable? Oliver managed to convince me to accept them graciously, though. In recent years, they no longer bother to present it to me. They directly deposit them into my bank account. I no longer accept allowances from my parents since I started working. My brothers... they're the type to be overly generous to me. I refuse them. In a way, I'm not sure what actually created the distance between me and them. Was it my sensitivity towards their generosity or was it simply our differences in lifestyle and chosen careers?

I like what I do. I have an affinity with kids. They like me and I like them. I've been working with them for years that I know how to read their behavior and their expressions. We do teach discipline at the preschool. It's not a money-maker but I'm happy and satisfied. Being able to influence children and helping them develop their values as well as some basic skills, it's satisfying.