𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙬𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝘾𝙝𝙪𝙪𝙮𝙖? | 𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙠𝙤𝙠𝙪

Chapter 2

 I want to wrap my arms around him and call him mine. I wanted all this light for myself. I wanted to hold him tightly and I never wanted to let go. I wanted to hear him call my name. Just my name. Was I the only one who felt this? Was I the only one who longed for this?... For him?

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Chuuya pov

I don't think I can live without him anymore. Does he think the same way? No. What am I thinking? He doesn't and he never will. It's not like I like him or anything. I can't. Not after what happened with the Sheep. I shouldn't let my guard down anymore.

But right now all I wanted to do was hold him. Comfort him. I want to help him. I don't want to see him in pain. I know it isn't easy what he's going through. He just lost a close friend. Despite who he was, losing a friend hurts. But how do I do that? Is it normal for enemies to comfort one another?

"Oi! Dazai! Hey! Can you hear me??" Dazai started choking, desperately gasping for air. I quickly ran to the kitchen and got him a glass of water. I handed him the glass. "Drink." "Hngh. T-thank you-" Out of instinct I rubbed his back, like I was trying to calm a crying child. After a few minutes, the brunette finally calmed down.

"Chuuya, I'm sorry for barging in on you like this." "You better be, you waste of bandages." How do I do this? It feels weird all of a sudden comforting him. It wasn't something I did. Especially towards Dazai. But, he needs it right now...

I had no idea what I was doing but the next thing I knew I was hugging Dazai. I was crouched down on the ground, hugging him, gently patting his back trying to comfort him. He looked up at me. "C-chuuya?" He looked at me confused but sad. I looked at him and his eyes... They looked like they'd lost all hope. "I heard about what happened... I'm so sorry for your loss. I know he was an important friend to you and that you cared for him a lot and I know it must be so hard for you right now. You can talk to me about it if you want. I'll be here ready to listen. I don't know if these words would be enough to comfort you but, I'm here for you and I'll stay right here by your side. " Without me even realizing it these words slipped out of my mouth and these gestures I normally didn't do, came out so naturally. Silence. What did I just say... Why did I say that? Why isn't he saying anything?? I should've just kept my mouth shut! This isn't like me at all!

Dazai pov

Chuuya... I put the glass of water down and dug my face into Chuuya's chest as he embraced me as I softly cried. He kept rubbing my back trying to calm me and I didn't resist. This is the most warmth I've felt with someone. This is the closest I've been to somebody and I didn't want it to stop. I don't want to feel cold or alone. I felt safer. I held onto Chuuya's clothing, making him stay. "Thank you, Chuuya... That- that means a lot to me." I gave him a weak smile. It was weak, but it was sincere.

I was now sitting on Chuuya's couch in dry clothes staring out the window as the rain hit the glass window. The rain outside only grew stronger and stronger so Chuuya decided to let me stay for a bit longer. But only until the sky calmed down. It didn't look like it would die down any time soon though. But this...this is driving me crazy! Chuuya, The Nakahara Chuuya, is letting me stay! He even let me shower and gave me dry clothes. Chuuya surprisingly had a lot of oversized shirts and a few other things I could wear. Me staying with Chuuya overnight was something I could only ever dream of. My feelings for him only grew and grew more as I saw other sides of him I've never seen before. Was he always like this? Was he only treating me like this only because he pitied me? It doesn't matter. I get to see him for a bit longer. I get to stay by his side for a while. How could I ever leave him?

But I haven't forgotten what happened. No matter how happy I am right now, I've lost a friend. Right now I'm just so so confused. I can't think straight anymore. Oda's words are confusing and I never wanted him to leave. I already miss the old days. When me and Odasaku would wait for Ango at Lupin. When I would tease both of them and have a drink and just talk about the most random of things. I wonder what I would be doing right now if this never happened. Should I choose my friend or the person whom I love? Agh! I don't know what to do! Chuuya's actions right now are making me even more confused. Does he feel the same way? There's no way you would treat an enemy like this. On the other hand, he needed me as his partner when we go out on missions for the mafia. Odasaku... What should I do?...

Chuuya pov

I walked back in the living room with a tray with 2 cups of tea in them to see Dazai's face in his palms sighing. "What's wrong now sh*tty Dazai?" I set the tray down on the table and sat on the couch as far away from the mackerel as possible. It felt weird saying all those things to him earlier as I don't usually say those. So I'm trying to get things back to normal before I start to like him aga- Okay stop stop stop- I don't like Dazai. I never did and I never will. Simple. The things I said were just a spur of the moment thing. Plus, I'm just letting him stay here because it's raining and the second he's back to normal and starts teasing me again he's gonna tell me "Chuuyaaa how could you let a grieving person go out in the middle of a storm? Chuuya you're so mean! No wonder no one likes you~" I could just imagine him saying that in the most annoying voice ever.

"Nothing. Just thinking. Why? Were you worried about me chibi?~" "Why you little-" I can't tell if I should be happy or not that he's slowly returning to normal. "You know what- Just drink this and unless you want me to kick you out, you better shut your mouth." "Chuuya you're so mean~" Yup. I definitely don't like him. Who in their right mind would ever like someone like him??

He looks down on the table and stares at the tea. "What?" "Wow Chuuya. I didn't know you had tea nor knew how to make it." ''The heck is that supposed to mean?" I say, obviously pissed. "I thought you only had wine and knew how to complain." ... "Do you want to f*cking die you piece of sh*t??" I say threateningly "Aw come one Chuuya! You should already know I've been trying to find the most painless way to commit su!cide~ " "I swear to god you should be thankful about how patient I am right now with you-" Dazai gave a soft chuckle. "I'm going to bed. There's a futon inside the cabinet over there and a blanket and some pillows. You can leave when the rain stops tomorrow. But you're free to leave anytime you want. Oh and don't you dare f*cking go anywhere near me while I'm asleep or I swear I'll make your death as painful as possible. "

I entered my room and changed into a new set of clothes and got into bed and slid the covers over my head and turned to my side facing the wall. *Sigh, it's been quite a day.

Dazai pov

I got the futon and pillows and entered Chuuya's room as quietly as possible so as to not wake up the sleeping beauty. I set it down beside Chuuya's bed and sat down. Chuuya was really beautiful whether awake or asleep. He looked so peaceful. I moved a bit closer without realizing it and cupped his face with one hand and softly stroked his face with my thumb. *hah "You truly are beautiful my dear Chuuya." I gave a soft chuckle "So so beautiful... Thank you for staying with me and letting me stay by your side all this time. Good night. I love you. I love you so much Chuuya." I whispered. I let go and gave him a kiss on the cheeks. I slid into my futon and stared at the ceiling. The realization of what I just did just hit me. Oh. My. God. What did I just do? Why did I do that? My face was all of a sudden burning and I put my hand over my mouth. Trying not to think about what I just did and praying to god that he didn't hear me. This day has been really messed up. I should just go to sleep. I turned to my side and faced the wall and slowly fell asleep.

Chuuya pov

... '!%^#@%^#@ AAAAAAAAAAH WHAT WAS THAT?!? @&*&$#(&*@(#@!% AAAAAAAAAH!!! Why did he do that?!? Why did he say that?? Am I dreaming? This has to be a dream. I- He would never-' I gave myself a small pinch "ow" I said quietly. ... 'F*CK!' I could feel my face burning up. I hid under the covers and dug my face in my pillow and screamed as quietly as possible so the brunette wouldn't hear me. But what?? I must've misheard him right??

I must be hallucinating then. Yeah that's it... All the events that happened today just must've gotten me confused. Let's just go get some rest...