Pumpkin Spice Mocha

-14-

"Aaron is that you?" Aaron immediately turns his head towards the person next to him.

"Alexis?"

There standing in front of him is someone that he knows so well. A classmate from high school that sadly only stayed for one year in Scotland before moving back here. In that one year, Aaron got to know them so well, better than he expected.

"I can't believe it! You? Here? It's been so many years since we've seen each other!"

Before Aaron can say something the bus arrives and he stands up nervously. They follow him and grab his hand smiling.

"Oh come on! Haven't you missed me?"

"Uh... It's been so long. Of course I did. I just... Wasn't expecting this"

They both sit down next to each other as the bus starts to move, an awkward silence in the air. Aaron nervously plays with his fingers until Alexis rests their head against the bus seat.

"You're still as anxious as you were back then"

"I just... Don't know what to say"

"Well then I'll start. How have you been?"

"I... The same as before. Working and... Enjoying the best years of my life I guess"

"However said that this were the best years of our life was either joking or extremely dumb and delusional"  Alexis looks down at their feet while sighing loudly.

"I thought our best years were in high school" Aaron playfully smiles at Alexis earning a nudge from them.

"Being black and nonbinary in high school... I must have the most damnned luck on this planet"

"What about your parents? Did they accept it after all?"

"They're still being bitchy about it sometimes but they don't care as much as they did back then" They shrug and Aaron looks out the window.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I wish I could've done more"

He regrets that he couldn't help Alexis when they came out as non binary to their parents. They were raised in a strict Christian house and it was hard to be themself. Aaron was there for his friend as much as he could, going out on late walks, when fights got pretty bad and Alexis just left the house for a few hours to clear their mind, and supporting them.

He didn't had that many friends in high school. With some he only talked rarely and with others he would hang out when he didn't had anything better to do. The only close friend that helped him get to know himself better, and made high school more tolerable, was Alexis.

Aaron didn't even realized that at one point he started seeing Alexis in a different light. They became like another person in his eyes and he took a liking to this 'new person'. Truth be told, Alexis was still themself. It's just that Aaron saw them more beautiful, more funny, more dreamy than ever.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew that he started developing feeling for them. The harder part to accept was the fact that this could ruin the only true friendship he actually had. Accepting the fact that he fell for someone who wasn't a girl didn't really bother him. As long as he loves that person who has the right to tell him he's wrong?

Before he could even think of confessing his feelings, Alexis moved to Canada and he was left without a friend and also the person he loved so much now.

"It's not like you could've changed my parents' minds or something. You really helped me get through it all, in your own way, and I thank you for that" Alexis looks at Aaron and he's taken aback by the sincerity he sees in their eyes.

"Well... I'm happy I could be there. I liked you a lot you know?" Aaron doesn't want this to sound like a confession but Alexis looks at him suspiciously.

"You were cute... I mean still are don't get me wrong. You just weren't my type I guess" They let out a small laugh and then closely look at Aaron's face searching for any trace of sadness

"Don't worry. I'm over it. It just sucks I didn't had the chance to confess to you back then" He nervously looks down and taps his foot against the floor, making Alexis put their hand on his shoulder and sighing.

"You should stop this"

"This? What do you mean?"

"Always expecting the worst in life. Me saying this won't change anything but... You should try to speak to more people. Make new friends! Who knows? Maybe you can even find someone you like and date"

"I... I don't know why I can't... I'm trying" Aaron almost breaks down trying to explain what he's feeling.

He hates the fact that he is so anxious when talking to other people. He always needs to prepare himself before talking to someone and it kills him that he can't be outgoing like others or be popular. He wishes he had a lot of friends and hang out with them and maybe even go to parties. It's a miracle to him that he succeeded in making new friends like Leo, Naomi and Nicholas but he's still so paranoid around other people.

"I made some new friends actually but... I just wished I could open up more easily. Sometimes I even wonder... What if I annoy them? What if they get tired of me one day? What if they see how boring I am and leave?"

At this point Aaron's thoughts are driving him crazy and he wished he had a switch to turn them all off and get it over with.

"You're more likeable that you think you are. You made some new friends! That's progress. You just need to stop overthinking things like this"

"I just... I can't... I can't stop it. I wish I could but I just can't!" Aaron runs his hand through his hair and clenches his fists tightly.

"Hey... It's okay... I get it... There are some things we just can't stop doing. It doesn't mean that it's the end of the world though! Give me your phone. I'll give you my phone number"

Aaron hands them his phone and they press some numbers before smiling and giving him back his phone.

"Here. Maybe you want to hang out sometimes. You can call me anytime you want. Also next week I'm hosting this party and maybe you want to come?"

"I'm not sure... Parties aren't really my thing to be honest"

"Oh stop! There will be a lot of new people! Maybe you'll enjoy it! I remember you used to tell me how much you wanted to go to parties back in high school"

"Yeah I guess I really thought my anxiety would let me have fun"

"This is my stop" Alexis stands up and waves at Aaron.

"Think about it will you?" They say before getting off the bus and Aaron waves back with a small smile on his face and then looks at his phone.