The Eyes Have Me

Chapter 9

"What do you mean mum is dead?" I chock out, trying not to cry. "How did this happen?"

I am trying so hard not to cry hysterically in front of dad, my friends, my boyfriend, or a cafe full of strangers, but this is proving difficult. Dad continues to blankly stare at me, and I can understand why he is like this as both his son's are no longer living at home, and his wife is now deceased.

"She had brain cancer, and surgery wasn't an option, and she denied chemo and radiation," dad softly replies. "She had been ill for about six months before she passed."

This is the damn that breaks the wall of tears to stream full force down my face; "Did she suffer, or was she comfortable when she passed?"

"She had her good and bad days," he replies with dull eyes. "She passed in her sleep. Her funeral is in two days at 11 a.m. at St. Bastian's Cemetery."

Silently nodding at the information, I step back from him a step as I pull my cell from my back right pocket to call Abel, who answers on the third ring; "Hey little brother, what is up?"

"Um," I choke on my tears as I gather the strength to tell him. "Dad tracked me down, he is here with me right now. Um, mummy died from brain cancer. Can you meet us to talk with dad?"

"Where are you guys?" he demands, so I tell him. "I will be there in about ten. Keep dad there if you can."

Before I can reply, he ends the call, so I slip my phone back in my pocket. I relay the message from Abel to dad who silently nods before following me back to my friends and boyfriend.

"Dad, these are my best friends, Mylo and Callie, and this is my boyfriend Axel," I say with drying tear tracks on my face. "Guys, this is my dad Asher. Dad is going to join us until Abel arrives," I say when we reach the table.

Axel is the first to break the awkwardness as he gently takes my hand in his after I sit down next him; "What is going on, baby?"

The three of them greet dad as he sits down at the end of the table without a word.

"Um, my mum died," I start off before telling them the rest in a sad voice.

"Holy fuck," Callie mutters with a shaky voice as a tear slips down her left cheek as Mylo and Axel stare with shocked expressions between dad and I.

"I am so sorry," Mylo and Axel tells us as Axel places an arm around my shoulders to gently pull me into his side with a gentle kiss to my temple.

Abel arrives ten minutes later in a frantic state as he rushes over to our table where he sits down next to dad after he grabs an empty chair. He demands that dad explains everything again which dad does.

Two days later -

"Do I have to attend? If I don't then mummy's death isn't real," I Mumble into Axel's chest as he tightly holds me before we are supposed to leave the Inn for the funeral.

He softly but firmly replies; "I am sorry baby, but you need to do this, so you can have your final goodbye. Mylo, Callie, and I will be there for you, Abel, and your dad."

"Thank you, Axel," I sniffle as I dig my face around slightly into the soft fabric of his black long sleeve shirt, inhaling his lavender scented fabric softener, and his 'Phoenix' Axe body spray. "I am sorry for being such a mess."

"You are welcome, baby, but you don't need to thank me," he softly replies. "You are allowed to be a mess in this situation. You are allowed to be the beautiful mess that you are."

Sniffling softly as I pull my head back enough to see his handsome face to give him a wobbly smile; "Thanks, you are the best."

"I try, but I don't think I am," he murmurs as he gently swipes the fringe from my forehead with a tender smile. "You are the best person alive because of who you are. Now, let's go, and get this over with."

Nodding, I step back slightly while we lace our fingers together as we head toward the door of the Inn. Axel drives us to St. Bastian Cemetery where we are meeting everyone for mummy's funeral. When he parks at the cemetery an hour later, I stiffly sit in my seat, tightly clutching the sides of the seat as I stare at the rows of grave markers.

"I can't do this," I mumble without looking at him.

He doesn't say a word, instead he exits the vehicle, walks around the hood to my door which he opens. Axel squats down to gently unclench my right hand, and brings it to his mouth where he gently places a kiss on my knuckles.

"I know you can do this, baby," he murmurs as he gently uses his free hand to gently turn my face toward him. "You are stronger than you realize, and braver than you think."

"Did you just half-ass quote Winnie-the-Pooh?" I giggle lightly in wonder as I stare wide eyed at him.

"Yes, I did," he grins before turning serious as he holds my hand in his gently as he turns serious again. "Come on, baby, let's go do this."

Allowing him to help me from the car, I give him a watery, wobbly, thankful smile that he gently returns. He tucks my hand into the crook of his elbow as he leads me to spot where the funeral is to be held. Dad, Abel, and both sets of my grandparents are already there. Granma (mum's mummy) pulls me into a tight hug when we reach them, and this causes me to sob harshly against her shoulder while I lightly wrap my arms around her thin waist.

"Oh, my sweet boy," she coos softly into my hair at the top of my head before leaving a gentle kiss there. "Your mama is in a better place now, and we need to remember this. That and that she isn't hurting any longer."