Before the Storm

Chapter 7: To Chase... A Decision

Hubris' visit left an imprint on Senn's broken mind and he hasn't stopped thinking about it ever since. So much so, in fact, that he is left sleepless, unable to quell his thoughts

He faces a dilemma; but he does not face it alone, and he is reminded of his worth

Author's note: okay okay okay THIS is my favourite chapter illustration to date. I actually love this one so so much I have no regrets and I'll do it again XD

the bois!

but yeah the illustrations are a tad inconsistent just because I didn't draw them in chronological order and I'm still learning new skills - and that includes the characters' ten-year glow-ups! redesigning them was too fun they actually look like they've grown up XD

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As twilight fell on the empty streets of Hailstone, Senn was restless. He could not sit still for five minutes, let alone stop his mind from wandering an endless abyss of thoughts that he had long since tried to bury – but not forget. He always knew he was going to have to be careful with the memories that he dug up every now and then, worried that he could fall into the abyss and never find his way out; but as Jerome has always taught him: he should not ignore the calling for reminiscence, nor should he force it. "The time will come," he always said, with a firm, supportive hand on his shoulder, although for the longest time, Senn never knew what he meant.

Over time, he learned not to suppress the yearning that he would feel when he wanted to remember something – good or bad – and he eventually learned to control the calling when he would feel himself spiralling into despair once again. It took hard work and many failed attempts before he learned to let it be, but every now and again, thoughts would plague his vision and swamp his mind.

He simply had to let them.

And this night was no different, only this time, his focus was not on the loss of Ria, or the killing of Delthaeus, or the stripping of Thalleous. Instead, he couldn't help but think about the Knights of Ardonia and everything that Hubris had said.

And Tygren...

He hadn't thought that much about Tygren since he returned to Hailstone, as if he were the product of a night terror and nothing more. Senn would be lying if he said that Tygren never made his way into his nightmares, but he wasn't often the main catalyst for the sweats he would get as he tossed and turned in his sleep, fighting the hands that grabbed him, stabbed him, and mauled him; and yet even he thought it to be strange. But regardless, Senn rarely thought of Tygren solely on his own. At least until Hubris had approached him about the impending attack that Tygren was so clearly planning.

He never really believed his job to be done simply because he pushed Tygren into the Nether portal and locked them all behind him – he knew that Tygren would find a way back for his revenge sooner or later – he just didn't want to believe the possibility. He knew right from the start that the only way to ensure something never hurts you again is to ensure that it can't hurt. If it can't feel, it can't inflict; thus, Senn believed that the only way to stop Tygren was to kill him.

Of course, Galleous wouldn't let him.

But things had changed. Tygren was back and he was now the core eating at Senn's mind as he tried to rest. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill him badly. He knew the Knights would never let him stoop so low, but for all Jerome's help in aiding him to a reconciliation that would grant him mental peace, Senn knew only one thing that would put it all to rest. It would never give him back Ria. It would never undo all of things that he had learned about Thalleous. It would never stop all that had happened to Delthaeus, and it certainly wouldn't change his own past; but he had never felt more strongly about anything in his life.

He wanted to kill Tygren.

Almrak and Jerome were right – going back to the Knights was a step backwards for Senn and it was likely to undo everything that he had been working towards in the last ten years, and that was why Senn had convinced Hubris that he would not return. He couldn't return to the hurt, the pain, of being back in a place that had once meant so much to him or seeing the faces that he used to see every day watching him in his changed form, in his changed mentality. He knew that he would crumble before he had the chance to utter a greeting; but it had started gnawing at his insides and making him uncomfortable.