Greyhound Bound for Nowhere

The Sun's going down on my misery

My cheeks were wet and someone kept saying my name. I felt a hand against my cheek, a thumb running circles below my eyes. My eyes were still closed as I heard the sob escape my throat. I cried out, my hands reaching for empty air in front of me. I felt someone warm holding me, his voice in my ear, "Clarke."

I guess it was my turn for the ghosts to show up.

I opened my eyes and Bellamy was staring down at me concerned, "hey don't cry. I wasn't that bad."

I couldn't stop the smile as I woke up and saw the sun was already shining. He was shirtless, I was still wearing it. He had his arms around me, I was on my stomach, my head on his warm chest. He was drawing letters across my back gently. I could feel the outline of a P.

I closed my eyes for a second, wondering how I could make this new pain stop. I took in a breath, trying to ignore the aches, to stop thinking about what I was going home to. And to think I had been excited to get back home less than ten hours ago.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bellamy's deep voice invaded my thoughts. I opened my eyes and he was still staring at me.

I sighed, "I don't want this to end," I whispered. My response must not have been what he was expecting. But it was the truth, I didn't want to leave this room, I wanted to stay in it with him for as long as I could. Even if that meant forever.

He flashed me that crooked smile, "well I happen to have a shitty room just like this back home," he kept tickling my back and forcing the tears away with his touch, "I might invite you over, if you play your cards right."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "oh yeah? I'd say you're the one who should play the cards right," I giggled as he tickled me. I crawled on top of him, pinning his hands to the mattress so he couldn't tickle me more, "I've got a secret weapon."

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

I lowered my face towards his and right before my lips touched his I moved them to his ear, "we both know Octavia will make your life a living hell if you ruin me like the others."

His eyes were wide, the smile gone. I laughed as his face paled slightly. If anyone was afraid of their little sister, it was Bellamy.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as I moved my hips against his, smiling as he looked up at me. My heart was pounding, I wanted to keep this going. But as his hands grabbed my thighs to pull me center, the phone in our room rang, startling both of us.

I slid off his lap as he reached for the phone. He pulled me into his side, "hello?"

He listened to the person on the other end. I watched him nod his head, saying okay and understanding. And then hung up without saying goodbye. He looked as annoyed as I felt at the interruption.

"So who was that?" I asked running my fingers up and down his chest.

He sighed, "the bus will be here in two hours, we're supposed to be ready to check out and wait in the lobby."

"That's good right?" I asked sitting up feeling excited to get back to Octavia. I missed her more now that we were getting closer to home.

He shrugged, "we knew this would come to an end."

I pulled away as his arms fell, and I realized he was deciding to end it. I sighed and stood up, pulling at the bottom of his shirt to try and cover the top of my legs, "yeah I guess we did."

His eyes followed me as I grabbed my duffel bag and slammed the bathroom door. I threw my bag down angry at myself for letting him tell me what I already knew. We were going to stop, we had to. We couldn't keep this going, even if he did have a shitty room back home. Because when things went south Octavia would be stuck to choose between us.

We all knew she would pick her family. Blood is thicker than water.

I wiped away the tears, turning on the shower before I let myself fall apart again. I pulled his shirt off, inhaling his scent as it covered my face. God all I wanted was to start over and not get stuck in this room with him. If I wouldn't have given into that crush, my heart, I won't feel more pieces breaking.

"Clarke," there was a knock on the door as I stood there in my underwear staring at the shower running.

I didn't answer him, I didn't move. I let myself cry for everything I had lost recently. I cried for Finn, for my dad. I cried because the pain was still there from his loss, I cried about fighting with my mom. But mostly I cried for me, for the life I had no control over.

I didn't even hear the door open, but suddenly he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes, trying to catch my breath as he held me and I fell apart. His hand ran through my hair, as I turned and wrapped my arms around him. I buried my face in his shoulder, pressing my chest against his. This was what I wanted, out of everything I couldn't control, this was what I wanted to stick.

I pulled back and his eyes were sad, "Clarke I -" I stopped him from going on. I pressed my lips to his, getting one last kiss, one last moment together before we left our bubble.

He didn't push me away, his hands moving towards my thighs again. He squeezed them, pushing me up against the sink. His hand snaked down to my chest and I moaned into his mouth as he touched me.

Bellamy hoisted me up onto the sink just as my hands went for his pants. I pushed them under the waist before he reached for my underwear. We were both breaking heavily, the steam from the shower making us wet as we found each other. I screamed out as he thrust into me, my hand wrapped around his wrist. I gasped, my eyes closing as he kept going rougher than before.

Maybe we were both trying to say goodbye, maybe we were tired of dancing around our feelings. But whatever it was, we were both trying to hold onto this last time. He was kissing my throat as I bit down on his ear. He moaned as I twisted my hips. I was so close, my eyes rolling towards the back of my head.

As we both reached our highs, Bellamy cried out. There was nothing as amazing as hearing the man you were with cry out as you turned him on. His eyes were closed, I watched him as it happened. I smiled as he opened his eyes, watching me do the same.

He didn't move as we tried to catch our breath. He stayed with his hands on my ass, holding me against him. My heart was pounding as tears filled my eyes. I looked away from him, more than sure the shower was freezing.

For a second I was at a loss for words, there were no thoughts in my head. I closed my eyes, letting the moment settle, trying to figure out just what to say, what to do. I didn't want this to end, but I didn't know how to hold onto anything anymore. I looked into his beautiful eyes, knowing he'd be another ghost to haunt me.

"I should get ready," I whispered as he let me go. My voice was shaky, I wanted him to tell me this would work. I wanted him to fight for me, "we don't have much time."

His arms didn't move as he stood there a second longer. His eyes swept over me, taking me in like this was the last time he would see me. Then he nodded, his lips formed a thin line as he turned and left me standing there, with just the ghost of his kiss left on my lips.