Poems

Ever Again

Sooner or later, you learn not to fight against inspiration.  You go with the flow of that first sentence.

Enjoy. Qhearts23.

Ever Again.

Helpless, in a pool of my own blood.

At first,

It was warm as the blood left my body.

Now,

 After laying in it for so long,

It has cooled around me.

Thump…thump…thump

I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how loud my heart beats.

Thump…thump…thump

I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy to hear it.

A rustle of clothing and the sound of footfalls.

I peel open my eyes,

And recoil at the shadow that stands above me.

“You’ll never be good enough!” It screams in a deep distorted voice.

A sentence it repeated over and over, as it shot me.

“You’ll never be good enough!”

It was then I notice the layering underneath its voice

And as it repeats the sentence,

The hidden voice grows louder.

“You’ll never be good enough!”

The shadow of the person wavers,

A light suddenly shines down

And I’m looking into the eyes of my killer.

Brown sad, angry, and pitiful eyes.

Thump………thump..thump…thump.

“You’ll never be good enough!”

Coupled with the face,

This time I recognize the voice.

It’s a voice I’ve heard for this past twenty years.

Thump………thump..thump…thump.

I wonder how I could not recognize the sound of my own voice.

It’s me.

Me.

I’ve killed myself.

It’s shocking.

It’s surprising.

It makes my heart beat erratically.

Thump..Thump..thump.thump.thump

But with this realization,

Comes determination.

The determination rushes through my body,

Like a shot of Adrenaline

Doused with a healing agent.

The warm feeling of my blood rushing out comes to an end.

Replaced by the hot feeling of anger.

“I’m good enough!” I shout back.

My doppelganger flinches back.

I finally have the energy to stand.

“I’m everything I could have ever asked for!”

And with those words, my mirror image runs.

Runs in the deep recess of my mind.

I know it will be back,

But now I am prepared.

And I won’t go down without a fight,

Ever again.