You Can't Heal Me-salvis

You've Changed

I'm gonna rewrite this to actually be good someday, but read at your own risk this literally sucks lmao

Cw: drinking, intrusive thoughts/self hatred, s/a implied, drug mention, f slur

This is kinda a vent fic, so don't read if ya don't want that stuff

Ages-
Travis: 24
Sal:24
Larry:25
Ash-25
Todd-25

--Travis pov--

*7 unread messages*

I stared at the screen, my vision blurred. I didn't bother to do anything, the white screen blinded me with how close my phone was to my face.

My stomach started to hurt from laying on it for so long. I need to get up.

Get up. You need to work you lazy piece of shit. Get up. Why don't you ever do anything, all you've done is lay in bed. The only thing you can do is sleep, is that all you can do anymore?

Empty bottles were scattered on the floor, some new and some old. I couldn't be bothered to clean them up. I felt numb, it was the only thing I really felt anymore and it wasn't even a feeling. I was getting used to the drinking, sometimes drugs worked to block the thoughts.

They were the only thing that worked. Since and even during highschool, everyday became a blur. Even if I tried I didn't remember most of those days.

I closed my eyes, laying my phone on the bed. I felt like piles of rocks were spread over me, I knew I had shit to do. But I couldn't bother to get up.

My phone dinged, another text. I didn't read it, I already knew what it said.

1

2

3

Get up

//

"Hey Phelps! Over here Dumbass!" The familiar laugh and voice rung in my ears, I winced. I avoided the crowds of people as I walked over to the booth. My boss sat with some girl he wouldn't care about tomorrow.

The colored lights gave me a bad headache as always. The music loud in my ears. Too loud, too fucking loud.

"Thought you wouldn't make it today! Your shift starts in like 10 minutes dude"

"Yeah, just slept in," I lied, "doesn't seem like you would've cared, " I nodded towards the girl straddling his lap, all over him. This was the usual scene at this place. It wasn't ideal, but it was easy besides dealing with drunk assholes disrespecting dancers and customers and such.

He laughed, "It's like 8, why were you even sleeping? And of course I would've cared, I get time off because of you, now work it boy!" I rolled my eyes, the comment was uncomfortable but unavoidable.

I forgot the short conversation as soon as I walked behind the counter, organizing the drinks and surveying the crowd around me.

Realization of where I was hit me. How did I get here in life. Lazy fuck in the day and lazy bartender at night, wouldn't have ever guessed.

I blocked out the music of the club, my head felt hazy as I took orders and made the intoxicated drinks.

Is this all you can do? Your Father was a priest and here you help people defy his wishes. Here you hurt people, you've always hurt people.

"Hey honey, you're looking pretty sleek. Mind if I see you a little closer?" A nearby voice dragged me out of my thoughts. It came from a tall, dark haired man. He looked atleast 40. He touched some women's waist. She looked to be in her 20's.