A Bittersweet Smile

A Not-So-Joyful Ride

The interior was extra clean and comfy, as expected. My hands wondered at the ride's dash panel. Not a speck of dust.

"Min Seok-ah. Where are we going?"

"Hyung said that tomorrow is the first day of our filming for XOXO. He asked me to pick you up and go straight to SME."

"Okay"

It was a one-hour drive from the set to Seoul. It was really silent. And it's not one of those comfortable silence. If you would spell out our situation right now, it would be A-W-K-W-A-R-D.

"Hey, you hungry?"

Finally! I just nodded and Xiu Min turned his attention at the road again. Before my stomach started complaining, the black Pagandi stopped by a convenience store. Xiu Min turned the engine off and started to look for something.

"Min, what are you looking for?"

"My wallet."

"But you don't have a wallet."

I stated obviously. He doesn't bring wallets. He only has this certain credit card in this pockets that he always forget that it existed.

"Ani. I'm sure I brought a wallet. The one that Lay gave me."

Lay? Again?

"Ah! Here!"

Then he showed me a white wallet with a shiny clasp sealing it shut.

"Let's go?"

He got out of his car and I followed. He threw a black cap at me, and wore the same cap, just that his was white.

The store was pretty cold, and quiet. He took a basket and just grabbed everything that he thought was needed. He bought three cans of coffee and five packs of pepero. At the counter, he bought steamed buns.

"That would be ₩54,000, Sir."

Xiu Min started to open his wallet's lock.

"Now, what was the code again?" He murmured to himself.

"4,2,6" He whispered, soft enough to prevent the cashier from hearing it.

—-

The silent ride before turned to a chaotic one when Xiu Min started scolding me for eating most of his steamed buns.

"Hyung! I was hungry!"

"And you think I'm not?"

And with that, we started bickering among ourselves. I called him fat and he called me a girl. That seemed to lift up our awkward situation just a while ago.

After the bickering and laughing faded, Xiu Min focused on the road with a smile plastered on his pretty face.

"Lu-ge"

"Hmmm?"

"Nothing."

I stared at him, taking in all the features that I used to know. His eyes, the one with the single eyelid. His nose, the one that looks so round that it would be hard to resist the urge to pinch it. As I came to his lips, a smile formed on mine. I remembered our, and Xiu Min's, first kiss.

Just as I was staring intently, I noticed Xiu Min's expression shift from happy to frightened. His smile faded, and a glimpse of pain made its way across his eyes.

"Hyung? Are you all right?"

He started clenching his teeth and he grasped his chest as hard as he could. I could see that he's in pain, but I don't know why he's acting this way.

"Hyung? Hyung! What's wrong?"

He pulled the brakes so harshly and started to wildly find something in his bag. He pulled out a glass box that contain pills, small bottles, and two syringes.

Not knowing what to do, I just looked at him in fear as he gulped down two pills without the aid of water and started taking the liquid from the bottles using the syringe. He quickly injected himself at his thighs.

"Mianhae, Han.. nie. You have to see me in this state."

He laughed.

As the world around me blurred because of tears forming in my eyes, I saw Xiu Min leaning his head on the wheel as he started to close his eyes.

"See you at the hospital."