All this Time

Gabby

9th January.

Matt and Holly live in a brick house, two stories, a cute garden bed stretching along the front of the house, a picket fence and planter boxes on their front windows. It's quaint and cute.

Nathan parks behind the SUV in front of the garage and kills the engine. My mind is still reeling from his offer to let Lydia and I live with him. Part of me thinks it's too much. The other part of me is desperate enough to move out of Momma's.

And then some deep down part of me is terrified of what I feel when I look at him. He's so unbelievably hot and the more I see him, the more I feel that. Feel him.

He's tall and defined and always looks so smouldering. He's sex on legs and I'm not sure I have the willpower to live with him and not let it get the best of me.

Not that he necessarily would take up an offer if I initiated it. He probably sees me as Dallas' best friend and nothing more.

But, he did kiss me on New Year's.

And then he acted as if nothing happened.

It's all so confusing but I decide not to dwell on it right now and flick momma a text as we walk up to the front door.

Having dinner with a friend. Be back later.

Nathan doesn't knock, he lets himself in and the warmth of a fire hits us. I know it's a fire. There's a big difference between heater heat, and fire heat. It smells like fresh wood and home cooked food.

The front entrance has a nook made up of a bench seat with shelves at the bottom for shoes and hooks at the top for back packs and coats. There's toddler sneakers on the floor and little jackets thrown on the ground, like someone rushed in and threw their shit around.

"Apologies for the state of the house," someone calls from close by, the kitchen I'm assuming.

Nathan and I share a quick look of understanding and toe off our shoes. I have a daughter, I'm not going to judge a bit of mess.

There's toys in the hall, clothes drying on the stair case railing, family portraits and kids art pinned to the walls and rambunctious shouting coming from the second floor. This is the home of a happy family, where the children are allowed to live and thrive and immediately, I'm in love with the atmosphere.

In the kitchen, pots are steaming on the stove top and a beautiful woman is stirring a pan full of vegetables and egg. She's so small and so bold at the same time. Her hair is mint green but her bangs are platinum blonde, she has a septum piercing, cheek dermals and an armful of tattoos. Her make up is flawless.

Her smile is her best feature and it only grows when she looks at me trailing in behind Nathan who sets the instant pudding on the bench.

"Holly," he gestures at me. "This is Gabby. Gabby, Holly. You met her husband at the bar the other week. Matt. He's around somewhere I assume."

"Yeah upstairs," Holly says dismissively. "Oh the bar. Yes. I heard about that."

I wince, embarrassed that my behavior had been tragic enough to become a conversation point. "Cool. That's cool."

Holly laughs, it's an ethereal sound, light and melodic. "Don't stress. The girls used to be invited to the bar and then we got too fucked up too many times and got shunned. Born was boys night."

"You got fucked up too many times," Nathan tells her, leaning a palm on the bench. "We couldn't shun you and not the others. Ruined it for all of them."

She playfully scowls at him and flicks the element off, setting about draining the pot of rice. Nathan hovers close to me, his arm brushing mine and I think about side stepping out of his proximity because it's distracting.