All this Time

Nathan

9th February

Dallas swears living sea side will give her a longer life. The calm keeps her heart rate low, the salt water has healing properties, the air isn't polluted with toxins and chemicals. She might be right, there's something nice about laying in bed with the window open while the waves crash outside.

Call me a coward, but I can't seem to get up and face Gabrielle. I know she's up. I heard her and Lydia giggling this morning, through the wall.

Living sea side might be good for the health, but living with that laughter is the only healing I'd ever need.

I want to be loved without begging for it.

My gut rolls, nausea heaving me onto my side so hard I think I might actually throw up on the carpet. All she wants is someone to give her the love she deserves, without asking for it, without her having to bend over backwards to earn it.

She has no idea how far from the truth that is. How lovable she is without even trying.

Her excitement and that contagious euphoria she gets for other people's happiness is beautiful, so beautiful I wish I could see more of it. I want to give her reasons to smile like the world was made just for her. Like her name is inscribed on all of the greatest things life has to offer.

Checking the time on my phone, I wince at the fact it's almost ten in the morning. Before I get the chance to flick the comforter back, the door swings open and Dallas stands there holding her hand over her face.

"You decent?" She snaps. "Answer fast."

"Yeah, what the hell—"

She drops her hand and gives me the nastiest glare I've seen since I grounded her for spending one hundred and thirty bucks of my money on a pair of dance shorts. Absolute madness.

With her withering focus locked on me, she swings the door shut and I sit up, slow. I have a feeling I know what this is about.

"You've always been a bit of a man slut," she seethes. "But having a go at Gabs?! While she's getting over her ex?!"

"Dal—"

"Pig."

I run a hand through my hair and get out of bed. "I haven't slept with her."

"Nathan," she paces back and forth, tugging on her hair. "She's vulnerable right now. I thought I could trust that you wouldn't be like that towards her. I mean, it's Gabby. You've known her forever. She's—"

"What did she tell you?" I ask, grabbing a t-shirt from the love seat in the corner beside the window. The curtains flare from the breeze coming in. "Did she say I made a move? Or like, insinuate I made her uncomfortable?"

It didn't seem like something Gabrielle would do, she was always finding a way to blame herself for shit. But the last thing I ever wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable with all the dirty things I whisper in her ear.

"No. She said she started feeling things for you from the moment she moved in and she was finding it hard to keep her hands to herself."

Bit of an ego inflate that I don't deserve.

"I never put it past her to have a crush on you. She's a sucker for a good looking man. I just thought you'd have more sense than to give into it. You took advantage of her."

"Dallas," I slip the t-shirt on and huff out a breath. "It's not about her being a sucker for a good looking dude. Or me taking advantage of her. It's about the fact that I feel like I can't breathe when I look at her. When she smiles or laughs, hell when the breeze carries her scent, I lose my mind a little bit. We're both doing our best to fight what we feel, Dallas. Give me a fucking break."