All this Time

Gabby

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18th January

On Friday, almost a week after I moved in with Nathan, I'm waiting at Lydia's school for pick up. The morning was spent cleaning at Linn's. I'm faster now than I was last week, I can get through it all in four hours instead of six.

Momma and I have had a few awkward but civil conversations on the phone since I left. She calls to talk to Lydia but she asks how I'm doing too, which I appreciate I suppose. If we could get back to how things were before I moved in with her, I'd be happy.

Most of the other mom's are huddled together on the deck outside of the classroom, little cliques talking and laughing and sorting out play dates for their children. Neither Lydia nor I have made friends yet.

My gaze scans the crowd, thirty somethings in their warm coats, snow boots and beanies. I don't see a lot of other mom's my age, but I'm not a snob like that. I had superficial surface friendships with older mom's in Denver. A few who I've caught up with online but none I'm desperate to rush back and see. I've always been like that, my friendships have remained at arms length. Dallas is the only person I've ever been genuinely close with.

The late afternoon sun shines off ice cold concrete and windows, I wrap myself tighter and look forward to going home to a fire. Lydia was right, that fire place is incredible. She helps Nathan with it every evening and he seems to genuinely appreciate her enthusiasm. I was worried he'd find her tiresome but those two talk more than he and I do.

When the bell rings, the doors fly open and kids pour out, clouds of white breath all over the place, little bounces and squeals of excitement. The whole courtyard turns into activity and I smile when I spot my little girl walking out with her back pack on and her reading book swinging in her hand.

The teacher follows close behind her.

Uh oh.

The more I assess this situation, the more obvious it is that Mrs King is looking for me.

She couldn't send an email about whatever this is? Does she have to track me down in front of all the other parents? I slip my hood up and know that's a useless attempt at hiding. As soon as Lydia sees me, Mrs King will follow.

Which is exactly what happens.

"Mommy, I didn't mean to," Lydia says, standing in front of me with her big brown stare boring into me.

Mrs King clasps her hands, looking gentle and approachable. "Hi, Gabby. I just need a quick word?"

With reluctance and a quiet sigh, I relent. "Yeah. What's going on?"

Doing a quick scan of the space in my direct view, I find that most people aren't giving us much mind.

"There was a minor incident today, which is why I didn't bother putting it in an email. Um, Lydia had a little. . . altercation with one of the boys in her class. From what I gathered after hearing all of their stories, it sounds like this boy said something unkind to one of the other girls and Lydia defended her."

"Oh," that piques my interest, I try not to look too excited though.

Mrs King tucks a loc framing her sable face behind her ear. "Yeah. Um, she told him not to be a toxic little wank. Those were her words I believe."

Drayton. She had to have heard that from him. He's the only person she hears calling people little wanks on a regular basis. I purse my lips, holding in a laugh because while it's not funny, it might also be the funniest thing I've ever heard.