All this Time

Gabby part 1

10th February

Just before four on Tuesday afternoon, there's a knock on the door while I'm buttoning up Lydia's coat. Nathan is taking her out while I tutor and I'm not nervous because I don't trust him, I'm just. . . bewildered about how willing he is to be here for us all the time.

He loves Lydia. I can tell, I can see how much she means to him and that's part of the reason I'm falling so in love with him. Because she deserves the kind of father he has the potential to be and while I won't ever refer to him as such, it's enough that he wants to be in her life.

Nathan comes from the hall and crosses the living room, winking at me as he goes. The things he makes me feel is wild and I desperately wish we could be more open.

Tonight I'm going to talk to Lydia about the fact that Josh and I have separated.

I'm not sure how long I'll wait before I talk to her about Nathan and I. It depends on how she takes the first piece of news I suppose.

Nathan swings the door open and a teenage boy slips inside, clutching his backpack to his shoulder, a big coat keeping him warm, it's speckled with snowfall. He's a tall kid, lightly tanned with bleach blonde hair, dark roots, done up in a bun on his head.

"How's it?" He tips his chin up in a quick nod. His accent is one I feel is familiar but I can't place it.

Nathan slaps him on the shoulder. "Gabrielle, this is Wiremu," he introduces, pronouncing Wiremu's name with a roll of the R. "Wiremu, Gabrielle."

"How's it, miss?" He extends his hand and I stand up, shaking it. Miss? I don't question him, but I do give Nathan a quick look. His amused smile offers no explanation.

"And this is Lydia," Nathan gestures to her, standing beside me watching the television.

"Oh far, she's cute as, man," Wiremu has the biggest smile I've ever seen. He drops his backpack beside the door and slips out of his coat. "Coach, you didn't tell me the tutor was fine."

Wiremu laughs and it's not just a chuckle, it's a loud, loud laugh, one that gets Lydia's attention for a brief moment. Nathan rolls his eyes and smacks him in the arm.

"Behave," he warns, getting his coat off the hook. "Come on, kid. We're going to see Jack and Toby. Wiremu, focus man. You want a spot next semester, those grades need to go up. Don't spend the whole time clowning off, got it?"

"Yes, coach."

Wiremu wanders over to the breakfast bar with his bag while I say goodbye to Lydia, lifting her hood onto her head. After giving her a kiss and a hug, she bolts out the door, excited for her afternoon.

I'd given her the option of leaving, she didn't have to if she didn't want to. But there was no hesitation when I asked.

Nathan lingers for a second, looking at me. We could kiss right now and it wouldn't matter. Wiremu is inconsequential in terms of our relationship. It feels so natural when I tip toe and press a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Have fun," I step back and see the dazed grin on his mouth.

He shakes it off, biting on his lip as he slips out of the door, beaming like a kid on Christmas. When I turn back to Wiremu, he's getting his books out of his bag and putting them on the breakfast bar.

As I cross over to him, he looks at me. "Coach doesn't tell us much. Never even said he has a mrs and kid."

"Oh," I slip onto the stool beside him, the metal squeaking when it moves under me. "Um, it's— he and I are complicated and Lydia's not his daughter."