All this Time

Gabby

February 2nd.

It's Saturday, two weeks since Nathan and I kissed and he fingered me in the bathroom. The memories are still as fresh as if it just happened.

I still feel like I'm orbiting around him whenever he's in the room. I still feel like I'm on some sort of super charge of sexual tension that's going to snap at any moment and I'll throw myself at him because I'm going insane with need for his touch.

Which is why I had to get out of the house this weekend.

Lydia and I went and saw momma this morning. We had lunch and a chat and now we're at the Philip S. Miller Park on the adventure playground.

Lydia loves this park. There's a massive slide and heaps of things for her to burn her endless energy on. She has no trouble be friending other children and it looks like there's a few kids from school here too.

My phone gets a text while I'm watching Lydia climb up a rope ladder with complete ease. I wonder what it's like to have that sort of strength and energy. Lifting my ass off the cold bench seat, I slip my phone out of my back pocket.

It's Dallas.

It's my birthday on the 10th.

My gloves won't let me tap the screen of my phone. With some reluctance, I slip them off and put them in my lap, cringing at the cold and how stiff my joints get when I tap out a text.

Shit. Glad you told me that. After like fifteen years of friendship, I still wasn't sure what date it was.

Sarcastic bitch. You better watch it or no Bebe Rexha tickets for the Denver leg of her tour.

You're doing the tour?!

Ya. Dray is going to come and just head home for football commitments. We'll make it work.

Smiling, I sweep the park for the thousandth time since we started this conversation. I don't like looking away from Lydia for too long, not when stranger danger is so real.

We've had the conversation about danger over a million times. We have a password that her safe adults know, we've covered all the luring tactics, what someone might say to get her alone. As prepared as I've tried to make her, anything can happen and not being vigilant isn't an option.

I spot her in the same place she was before, near the bars with a couple of other kids. Scanning the park I note only moms and a few dads with their kids. No one that looks out of place.

That's so exciting Dal. You've worked hard. You deserve this.

Thank you beautiful. As always, I wouldn't be where I am without you helping me through high school. Love you to the moon and back.

Dallas never fails to thank me for all the academic assistance I gave her during school. Specially senior. It never occurred to me not to help her. She's my best friend and it was a given that I'd help her in areas I excelled and she didn't.

Whenever she spoils me, she calls it belated tutoring payments.

I love you too.

Anyway, back to my buuurday. I've booked airline tickets for you, Lydia and Nathan to come to California next weekend. Don't wanna hear any of that 'no you shouldn't have' crap. Belated tutor fees. I'm thinking we do Disneyland with Lyd. At least one day there. Drayton is dying to take her.

I look over at her again, giggling with the children, her blue beanie pom pom bouncing on her head. She's going to be absolutely ecstatic. As hard as I find it to accept Dallas' generosity, I know why she does it and I appreciate her. I've never felt left behind.